Twitchalypse
by GirlyCorpse
Summary: Craig is worried about Tweek's future at his parents Coffee shop. After a confrontation demanding them to let Tweek choose to be whatever he wants, they discover a secret that might destroy the whole reality as they know. A very weird Creek story.
1. Chapter 1: Paranoia for the future

_-So this is my first story! And I'm actually new here so I apologize for any mistakes. I decide to write this story to get it out of my head and improve my english too! So if there's any cringe grammar there let me know and I'll try my best to fix it and write next chapter better!_ **-**

 **Chapter 1: Paranoia for the future**

It was early, maybe way too early. The sky was still dark and there were a few more hours to sleep before going to school. Craig couldn't care less about school on his sleep anyways, resting on his side facing to the window, the room was quiet and peaceful and the echo of his father's snore was the only sound around.

He turned to his other side to face the door still lost in his dreams, was he even dreaming something? Even if he was his mind suddenly noticed something. His fingers started brushing against something, it felt like regular fabric, yet it warm at the touch, it wasn't part of his bed. A way too familiar smell finally triggered his mind way too much to stay asleep.

It was like coffee, a warm wave of fresh coffee coming and going like the soft waves of the sea, it was refreshing but sweet instead of salty, a sweet taste he swear he knew from somewhere else. His eyes slowly cracked open, his blurry vision and his still half sleep brain started to process everything while blinking a few times.

He wasn't alone, the fabric of some green pajamas was the the warm touch at the tip of his fingers, even in the dark he spotted some even darker bags under the person's eyes along with a messy yellow hair falling on the pillow, his face and everywhere. Craig just stared at him a few second… and realization hit his mind hard.

-AHHHHHHHH!

-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!.- Both screamed to each other's face for a few seconds, Tweek by far louder than Craig after abruptly wake up.

-DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!? .- Craig exclaimed.

-CRAIG! WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN!?

-THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW TOO!

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? WHY ARE YOU-WHY ARE WE SCREAMING, CRAIG!? DID THEY FIND US!? OH GOD!

-Tweek! TWEEK! Calm down! You were on my fucking bed! I don't remember having a sleepover with you last night.

-Craig! Son! What's going on!? Are you ok!?.- The door was kicked open as a blonde female made his way to the room followed not far behind by a concerned red haired man and a little girl.

-Oh, honey! Are you hurt!? -The woman approached to his son checking him out.- What happened? We hear you scream!

-Ehm… well…

-Is that Tweek? He didn't stay last night, did he?.- The little girl questioned.

-No, he didn't…

-Tweek, sweety. What are you doing at Craig's room?.- Asked the mother.

Tweek was still twitching trying to stay calm, his heart was beating fast for all the confusion and now Craig's family questioning him just was making things worst for him. He wanted to explain but with his anxiety at top and all eyes on him the words were too afraid to come out.

-TOO MUCH PRESSURE! GAH!

-Ok that does it! All of you! out of my room, now! You're just making things worst for him!

-Shesh… and mom gets mad at me for sneaking a kitten in the house…

-Get out!

-Honey, we just want you to remember you can trust us to talk about anything.

-MOM!

-Son, you know we love you and your boyfriend Tweek, but we also want to remind you how important is to be protected in these situations.

-OUT! NOW!

Craig urged them to leave in a not too gentle way. The three turned around and flip the boy off, gesture he responded flipping off all of them individually and shutting the door closed with a bang right in their faces. After resting his back on the wood he took a deep breath and exhaled a heavy sigh trying to wash away the red color on his face. Why was Tweek there to begin with? Did they...? Hell no! That didn't happen!... RIGHT!? He instantly pushed away such idea and focused his attention on a still twitching Tweek who was pulling his hair, his shirt while shooting wide eyes to Craig. Once the raven boy started to walk to him he seemed to calm down a bit.

-Ok, Tweek… they're gone now. Please calm down and tell me what's going on.

-ACK!-T-They were gonna get me, man!

-Who?

-I-GAH!-I DUNNO! BUT THEY WERE THERE!

-Tweek, honey. You are being paranoid again. Just calm down and we-

-THEY WERE THERE CRAIG! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!

\- Who!?

-I DUNNO!

-I want to, but I just can't if you don't tell me who.- He sigh, having a paranoid boyfriend wasn't easy. He wanted to believe him but most of Tweek's stories were beyond ridiculous, it was really difficult to tell what was real and what wasn't- How did you got here anyways? Did you used a window or have a key I dunno about?

-Please Craig! I WAS SO SCARED! I CAN FEEL THEM WATCHING ME EVERY NIGHT! THEY'RE GONNA GET ME!

-The gnomes you told me about?.- Those damn Gnomes actually concerned Craig, he actually wished for them to be real. The mere idea of his boyfriend making up a story about tiny gnomes stealing his underpants every night was something to be worried about.

-AGH!...M-Maybe?

-Maybe?

-I TOLD YOU I DUNNO! THEY JUST CREEP ME OUT, DUDE! I JUST NEEDED YOU RIGHT THERE!

-And you decided to leave your house in the middle of the night and run all the way to mine exposing yourself to the cold and maybe some thefts or serial killers at the streets totally alone in the dark just to illegally break out into my house and sleep by my side?...

-OH GOD! I COULD HAVE DIED!? WHAT HAVE I DONE!?

-I'm actually impressed…

-I WASN'T THINKING! I just needed to feel safe and-I… and, you always make me feel safe… sorry for everything Craig. Please don't call the police! I don't want to go to jail! GAH!

-I won't.- Craig replied in his monotonous voice going back to bed.- It's late, dude. We should get some more sleep before school and wake up earlier to take you home and get you some clothes.

-But you said you didn't want me here.

-I never said that. Now come here and get some more rest.

-Thanks Craig…

Tweek hesitated for a second, but finally climbed into Craig's bed and approached him still shaking a little bit. Craig now was used to it, so he didn't mind. The boy just took the blankets and covered himself and Tweek from toe to head finding himself staring at the blonde and he staring back.

Craig was learning to live with Tweek's paranoia, it was frustrating yet for some reason he never complained about it, after all, he had no idea what was inside the blonde's head but sure was terrible enough to keep him on edge of everything every single day. Besides how impossible or stupid some things were when he talked about them, Tweek has been right in the past sometimes and yet nobody believed him until they saw everything with their own eyes. With all the shit that has happened on South Park, it didn't sound weird at all, he had reasons to fear and trust nothing and nobody in the town. Yet, he trusted Craig.

Leaving his busy mind, the noirette realized the other's eyes were close. his twitching was gone and replaced with a slow and rhythmic breath. He couldn't help but smile at himself, the blonde was a nervous mess the whole time and observe him so peaceful and calm was something maybe just Craig had the privilege to contemplate often. The warm waves of the coffee sea returned like a lullaby for the raven haired boy. He still felt guilty, if Tweek ran all the way there forgetting about his own preservation instinct just to have some moral support from his part, there must be something up for real, but what? The question started to vanish with Craig's conscience as his heavy eyes close, whatever was happening it might wait a few hours.

-I wanna be an aunt, but not this soon!

-SHUT UP, TRICIA!

A quick breakfast and a Craig ready to go later, the two boys found themselves walking down the road holding hands. Even if way more relaxed tan before the blonde still looked anxious looking around the road and peeking behind every single tree on their way. Even when he tried hard not to say anything, Tweek's behavior obviously didn't get unnoticed by Craig.

-You ok, coffee bean?.

-Gah! It's just-I-I feel they're following us! AGAIN!

-Tweek, listen to me. Nobody is following us now, I might noticed.

-I'm telling you, man! They want to get me!

-I won't let them, whoever "they" are they'll need to go throw me first.

-Promise?

-Yup.

A shy smile got painted on Tweek's face, he still could feel somebody was watching him from everywhere anytime, but with Craig as his kind and lovely wall around him, it wasn't that bad. They went directly to a purple house, the Tweak's residence. Craig leaded the way and knocked the door three times, the door quickly opened showing Mr. Tweek who looked quite relieved.

-Hi, Mr. Tweek. I might have something that belongs to you.

-Oh! There you are son. Look, sweety! He was at Craig's.

-Oh Tweek! We thought you got lost when you ran away screaming in the middle of the night.- Mrs. Tweek lowered to Tweek's level and hugged the blonde boy.

-I'm sorry, mom… I didn't think at all, I just wanted to see Craig.

-But be careful, son. You could be on dissection table right now with your guts spread all over the floor by some psycho if it wasn't because they child kidnappers decide to sleep good last night.

-GAH!

-After being raped by a bunch of guys wearing clown paint on their faces and all wearing matching _Björk goose dresses._

-OH GOD!

-Just to let your tiny bloody corpse being raped again throw all holes available, cut you into tiny pieces and send a part to everyone in town so we'd have to try to put all those pieces, maybe already rotten, all together to- together… like a family from a local field gets together every morning to select the best grains-

-AHHHHHHH! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN! I DON'T WANNA DIE!

-Mr. Tweek! Can you PLEASE stop!

-Oh! Sorry Craig. I just wanted to show Tweek how dangerous running a marathon at 2 am can be.

-Let's go get you some clothes, honey. You have school in one hour.

Tweek's mom took him inside, he was still shaking thanks to his father's advice so it wasn't an easy task for the woman. After many tries of just grabbing his hand she finally gave up and picked him up from the floor, he was twitching and waving his hands scratching the air with his nails like some cat who tries to escape from an unwanted embrace, yet Mrs. Tweek seemed to be used to this and just hold him tight while going upstairs, leaving Mr. Tweek and Craig alone.

-Well, we can't just let our son's boyfriend stay at the door with the snow. Come in, Craig.

-Thanks.- He responded with his usual nasal voice and stepped inside the house, he has been there many times and every single one he couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable there every time Tweek's parents were there.- Uhm… Mr. Tweek, can I ask you something.

-Go ahead Craig, just want to remind you our secret coffee recipe won't be available for you until you officially become a member of the family and really worthy of trust.

-Ehm…. Ok? But it's not that. I just wonder why you focus so much on freak Tweek out, he has a problem and scare him with everything is not a way to solve it.

-Oh, we just want to protect him. You see Craig, many parents have different ways to keep their children safe, we just want Tweek to know that there are bad persons out there and he needs to listen to us.

-So… you made him paranoid so you can control him better?

-Ha ha! No, Craig. We are just making him wiser, if he thinks on every horrible thing that might happen with one of his actions he'll just take better decisions and so he will be able to perfectly run our business in the future without any difficulties.

-Have you ever ask him if he wants to?.- Mr. Tweek looked at Craig with a static face like his own. No emotions there just a blank face.

-What do you mean, Craig? He BORN to do this, the coffee business it's on his veins.

-What if he doesn't want? What if he wants to be a doctor, or a mechanic, or even a mailman or I dunno, something not coffee related?

-Of course not, Craig. Coffee is a passion all our family share and we'd give anything for it. Coffee is what gave us everything we have here, our house, our insurance, gluten free food that's most expensive than average food and even our friends.

-I guess… but-

-Yo should stop there, Craig.- The boy had to turn around, he felt a chill running on his back all the way to his neck, Mr. Tweek's cold expression remained but somehow it was darker this time.- Our son and our coffee shop is everything for us, Craig. That should be enough for you.

-I-I'm ready to go!

-Oh! That's great, son! You two might be going now if you don't want to be late.

Tweek walked downstairs and took Craig's hand, after saying goodbye both left the house with Tweek's parents waving at them at the door. Yet there was something off still... back there, for a little moment Craig felt afraid for his life while talking to Mr. Tweek, he turned back to glance at him quick and saw him smiling and waving like his regular self, yet he could feel his eyes pointing daggers at him. That wasn't good.

They took the bus right on time and Craig tried to stop thinking about what just happened without sucess; yet Tweek's hand holding his was enough to distract him for short periods of time. This was going to be a long day. After the bell rang, they went to their respective class and the lack of Tweek was a lack of distraction for Craig's mind, he soon found himself thinking about Mr. Tweek again, all what he said and how pissed he could feel he was with him for asking those questions.

-Poor Tweek…- he whispered softly.

-Dude, you ok?

-Yeah, did your rat die or something?

-SHUT UP, CARTMAN!

-Oh~ excuse me if I'm TRYING to be a better person and show some concern for my friends!

-That's not how you ask things, idiot!

-Guys! Can you please stop.- Stan interrupted before something started there.-Dude, you look sad and that's fucking weird from you, what's the matter?

-I'm just worried. That's all.

-Mhh Mhhm Mhh?

-Yeah… or not him actually, more about his dad. He wants him to own the coffee shop in the future.

-So what's the matter with that? Have your job ready sounds pretty cool.

-Yeah, dude! You don't have to go throw all the college and interviews shit! It's pretty sweet!

-MHHM!

-I don't know guys, I think it's kinda unfair for him.- The jew said.

-Ugh! Here we go… what did we tell you about gay speeches, Kyle?

-But it is unfair for him.- Craig finally joined the conversation, they had a point but it was still unfair, what if he didn't want to be a Coffee shop owner? What if he wanted to be something else?.- I might be ten years old, but I can't help but feel that's some hardcore bullshit.

The conversation died when a familiar figure entered the class with his huge head contrasting his thin body and his green shirt everyone could see from miles away.

-M'kay, we're gonna have some special activity today, m'kay? PC principal just realized we never had a career day here at-at school or any activity related to m'kay? So, I'm gonna pass you all this sheet m'kay?

The sheets started to get to everyone, a paper with a title "How you want to spend the rest of your life?" with bold capital letters followed by "What you want to do as a routine for the rest of your life" and a few lines to write and finally another bunch of lines nest to a "Write things you like so you're sure your not fucking up"

-M'kay children! As you know every single one of you have to think about your future and take the most crucial decision of what the fuck you're gonna do for a living at a young age M'kay? Everyone has to stop thinking about… games M'kay? And suddenly plan your whole life around a job you'll probably won't get anyways while you still need your parents for almost everything and know not much about the world M'kay? Like… you want to be a cowboy, but then suddenly realize they're not longer here M'kay? Or you want to be an actor but you don't get any support and end up facing how cruel the world is and that you can't be what you wanted M'kay? And you end up all depressed and messed up you need to get therapy M'kay!? And-And then life plays you back and- AND YOU END UP AS A CONCELOUR AT A SCHOOL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE INSTEAD OF BEING A STAR AT BROADWAY KNOWING YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THOSE MORONS, MKAY!? SO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, KIDS! M'KAY!? AND THINK AND PLAN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE CONSIDERING "SOMETHING STABLE" AND "ACTUALLY POSSIBLE" ON IT, M'KAY!?

The class was quiet while Mr. Makey walked around the classroom and Craig couldn't help but consider everything, he actually never stopped to think about it, what was Tweek's dream? What he wanted to be? He didn't knew that. He started to write on his sheet starting for the bottom. He enjoyed Race Racer, he liked space a lot, he loved Guinea Pigs, he adored Tweek and… that was all… He then proceeded to write what he wanted to be "I want to be a spaceman!" it's what he always said, he was about to write it when Mr. Makey's word hit him hard "Something stable and actually possible" he never stopped to think about what he needed to be a spaceman, wasn't know the solar system and love the stars enough?

He was there dealing with his hand not knowing what to write anymore, sure he was dead worried about Tweek's future but he never stopped to really think about his own. He realized he might not get his space dream become true, he always wanted to go and see the stars with his own eyes but if it was impossible… then what now?... He never considered options before, being a spaceman was everything.

-Race Racer?... No…- he muttered for himself after the horrible memories of Cartman at the Nascar races, but maybe a mechanic. Fix cars sounded good enough. -Guinea Pigs?... maybe?.- If he wasn't in good terms with all animals he actually liked them quite a lot, they seemed like a good shot!.- Maybe I can be a vet?... – A heavy sigh escaped his mouth he didn't buy it at all. Next thing on the list: Tweek.

If it was hard for him he couldn't imagine how hard it was for Tweek, or maybe not? What if he actually wanted to own the coffee shop one day and he was just being selfish trying to push him away from the path his parents builded all these years for him?

-Ehm… Craig, you M'kay?

-Oh! What?

Craig looked around realizing he was the only one left with his sheet on his desk, everyone else already answered and gave it to Mr. Makey. How could it be so easy for them? They might not take it seriously at all like always or had more touch with reality. He looked at his sheet still with the fist part blank and pushed himself to try and write something... nothing yet.

-I need more time. Can I take it home?

-M'kay, Craig! I understand it's and important decision and you want to consider everything to take the wiser choice since your life literally depends on it M'kay?

-Can you stop that! This is way too much pressure!

His eyes shot wide while his hands covered his mouth, did he? NO, WAY! He just didn't say THAT! "the wiser choice"? It took him a moment to realize it now, maybe Mr. Tweek was right. Adults has been through a lot of shit and for what Mr. Makey said seems like all the adults had t go throw hell and face the same situation, when the pressure of your future starts to push you and you need to worry about it, about everything you do and what can happen later if you do or don't do something… is this how Tweek used to feel the whole time?…

-HE JUST SAID HIS BOYFRIEND'S LINE! AHAHAHAHAHA! -Cartman's laugh banged at the classroom instantly followed by everyone else.- THIS IS SO SWEET, YOU GUYS! IT'S SO IRONIC I CAN'T JUST TAKE IT! AHAHAHA!

The loud laughs hit right into Craig's ears yet they sounded so far away, being so worried about everything, what might or not happen, analyze every single thing that might go wrong with a single mistake and how his whole life could be ruined by one simple bad decision. He got it now, he felt bad for not giving Mr. Tweek enough credit for raise his son always being realistic and ready to face anything the world had prepared for him unlike him. The boy who never gave any fucks to anything all because he might be too childish and used to feel like he had his dream in his hands and just needed to want it to be true to archive his goal and make it real, but now he knew it was a lie… the future is unsure and now he knows how Tweek feels the whole time.


	2. Chapter 2: What you wanna be?

**Chapter 02 – What you wanna be?**

 _I decided to update this once a week! Hope you like this chapter!_

It was finally lunch time, everything was the usual. Kids making line, the cafeteria full with life and Craig flipping off at the distance the loud table that still was making fun of him. He didn't care at all about the laughter itself, people used to make so much fun of him with the whole thing about the drones and his mom's decisions about her concept of beauty and yet he was still out of stock of shits to give that time. This was different, this time they were making fun of him for being a second Tweek, he now was living a regular day on his boyfriend's shoes and it was terrible. The poor boy was living at the edge of a heart attack every 10 minutes and instead of help him everyone just pointed at him to take a laugh and then proceed to ignore him for the rest of the day and only look after him again if they needed something from him. How can he live like this? For a second Craig compared Tweek with a pawn, he was like that tiny chess piece everyone just used and not cared much about it at all, at school... and apparently at home too, Tweek Tweak was nothing but a pawn for everyone. That was disgusting.

-Hey Craig. You ok, man?

Talking about the Devil, a pair of beautiful yet worried green eyes focused on Craig trying to look into him to see what was bothering him.

-It's nothing. Just that stupid career thing. I don't know what to write.

-Well, didn't you wanted to be a spaceman? – Said Tweek sitting on the table right next to Craig.

-I do or… I did… It's so fucking hard to be one now I think about it. These dudes have a lot of degrees and shit and no fucking time to anything else. My grades are not bad but not the best ones either so I don't qualify as a genius to make it through and even if I don't give any shit about anything I don't want just to spend my life studying either.

-Oh… - the blonde seemed surprised with the answer but he was right.- But if you really want to you can do it!... I-I GAH! I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT, CRAIG!

-Thanks, babe. But I feel asleep already just to think about going several times to college…

-Agh… right…

A comfortable silence surrounded them while both proceeded to eat their food. Craig's lunch was the usual, a good slice of pepperoni pizza and Dr. Pepper while for Tweek a simple jam and cheese sandwich and his regular cup of coffee he used to bring from home on thermos. The black liquid's smell brought back the whole Coffee shop thing to Craig's head and how even as his boyfriend he didn't know Tweek's opinion about it.

-So… you got the shitty quiz too?

-Oh! The-The career one?

-Yup.

-I-I did… but I'm taking it home…

-So you don't know what your gonna be in the future?

-I do know.- Tweek said taking a piece of paper from his pocket, he started to unfold it to show it to Craig. It was the quiz already answered.

-"I'm gonna study marketing and administration to be a Coffee shop owner"-The ice gazed boy read with his monotonous voice.- So… you want to keep your parents legacy.

-I-I guess….

-You guess?

-I-I mean…! I WILL! I have to be the best owner! I can't fail on this Craig! My parents trust me to do it! I have to do my best GAH!-BUT THEN I THINK ABOUT IT! IT'S WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE! AGH! WHAT IF I FAIL!? WHAT IF I WE END BANKRUPT AND MY PARENTS HAVE TO SELL TO TO SLAVERY TO PAY THE BANK!? THEY'LL BE SO DISAPPOINTED OF ME, MAN! **I-GAH! I CAN'T TAKE IT!**

 **-** Tweek, calm down! Look at me, sweetie. – the blond did as he said, still biting his low lip with wide eyes while twitching violently, the raven haired one took his face with both hands gently, emerald and sapphire meet and melted together as they gaze into each other's eyes.- You are gonna do fine, If you REALLY want this, you can do it. I believe in you, Tweek. You won't disappoint anyone.

It was weird, really weird how such dead and emotionless voice could be so mesmerizing. Craig's voice melted into the blonde's ears, his ice blue eyes fully blasted into his soul and his gently touch shut his whole nervous system down. When medication, therapy and even embrace a new religion failed to calm him down, he just needed Craig to tell him to do so and his whole body would obey him. Tweek's attack stopped and Craig released him.

-Thanks Craig… but I think you should try yourself too.

-You know, my dad once told me he wanted to be a paleontologist once, then it changed to something else and so on. Guess it's a normal thing, I'm actually thinking about being a vet.

-That's awesome, man! Stripe would have his own doctor at home!

-Pretty cool, uh? But I'm still not sure at all. It's dumb to force us to do this. I'm fucking ten years old! I don't even know what I want for dinner, I still need my mom to do most stuff…

-You still wear your aliens and stars underwear.

-I still wear my aliens and st-TWEEK! We are in public, dude! What the fuck!?.- The blonde giggled.

\- At least you stopped in time before saying something you'll regret.

-… Tweek, do you regret what you wrote?

-Egh! Ahmm… wh-why do you ask?

-Your sheet is already answered and yet you want to take it home.

-I-It's just!.. I-I need my parents to check it out! I don't remember those career names at all and I want to make sure I wrote them right.

-Tweek… forget about your parent for a moment and think a minute. Do YOU really want to be this? Is THIS your dream?

He opened his mouth to answer but no word showed up, the blonde turned at every direction like trying to look for something, he was conflicted.

-Is that a "no"?

-I-It's just… I never though about it. Since I can remember they always told me about how I'll be the owner of the coffee shop one day and nothing else. I guess…. I never thought about it at all but I don't know anything better so I guess It'll be fine!

-If you say so.

-It's fine Craig, trust me! I'm fine with this, is the reason why my parents wanted a child anyways.

It wasn't right. It just wasn't right at all. Didn't Tweek have any other purpose in life than be his parents puppet? Lunch ended with Craig trying to push the topic away but he couldn't help it at all, he was too concerned about it, maybe too concerned he didn't even noticed when school was over.

The bell ringed and the whole class leave, Craig walked to the door to meet Tweek and walk him home as usual. The twitching kid finally arrived after a while, paranoid as usual watching his back and evading the crowd, once he spotted some deep blue eyes he calmed down a bit and taking hands they started to walk home together.

-Awwwww~ I swear you guys, everyday they're just more and more gay.

-Cartman, can you stop it, it's kinda weird be that obsessed with somebody else's relationship.- Stan pointed out.

-Oh come on! The asian girls can do gay shit about them but I can't "awww" as the supportive and progressive person I am?

-It's just kinda gay being so obsessed with gay people.

-DON'T START KYLE! I am NOT gay myself! I just think they're cute.

-Whatever fatass…

-Mmmh mhm mhhhm mmh ehm!

-What?... What do you mean with yaoi money?... -Cartman asked a little surprised. Did Kenny said "money"?

-Mhah! Mhhm mmmh mms mmhhhm mhhm mhm!

-What kind of pictures?.- Stan was now interested but Kyle who was looking right next to him was looking at everyone with disapproval.

-Mmmh mmh! Mmmhh mmmmhy mm~ mmmhm!

-Sweet~! We need to follow them, guys!

-Oh no! We won't follow them!

-Uh oh, somebody seems to have a sandy vagina right now.

-I DON'T HAVE A VAGINA, CARTMAN!

-Some sand between your balls, then?

-AGH! Listen! It's just not right!

-Mmhm?

-Because you can't just go following people around and take pictures of their personal life to sell them to some sick people just to power up their fantasies! Whatever they do between them is NOT our business.

-But it can be, Kyle… It can be a pretty sweet business for us.

-Mmhma!

-What?

-Yeah, dude. It's like being a paparazzi, we did it once, remember? .- Well Stan seemed to be in the game now.- It's an easy way to make money. The asian girls have been giving Kenny $1 dollar for nice pictures of them holding hands while looking at each other-

-Mmmh mmhm mmmhy mmmhhh mhmhm.

-and $20 box for one of Craig kissing Tweek's hand after he hurt himself by falling, imagine if we can get some more "intimate" shots of them.

-I expected this from you.- Kyle pointed at the obese and the all covered boys.- but SERIOUSLY, Stan? You're just gonna join them and stalk our friends like a sick perv?

-We'll all gonna win Kyle, we'll get some money and the asian girls will get their pictures.

-What about Tweek and Craig?

-No plan is perfect, Kyle.

-CARTMAN!

-Agh! We are not Jews, Kyle! Unlike you we need to work our asses off working to get some money to live!

-FINE! You wanna be creeps and stalk the shit out of our friends? DO IT! But I won't join you guys this time, I'm disappointed of your attitude specially with YOU Stan!

-Come on, dude! It's not gonna be that bad.

-Just wait until Craig finds out and kick all of your asses all the way to Jersey…

Kyle left totally pissed off, it was incredible! The town seemed to finally make some progress for good but now they were falling back into the old South Park hole. He has changed a lot lately just like everyone else and when everything seemed to go for the best, money and asian girl got in the way. He expected it from Kenny who will do anything for money, he has done it before! Cartman who always claimed to be different now but Deep inside was the same manipulative and horrible person he has always been, trying to get advantage and earn a few bucks from every situation, but Stan? He has been an ass lately but accept being part of this? Wasn't his dad a PC? Didn't Stan learned anything about safe space or just let others have their privacy for god's sake? He was NOT going to join them. No matter what.

The rest of the boys started to follow the gay lovebirds phones in hand and camera ready, keeping their distance, being as quiet as possible, hiding behind trees, posts and benches to not be spotted, blending with their surrounding like shadows in the darkness.

-Craig, Kenny is following us again…

-I know, but it's not just him this time.

Craig spy at the corner of his eye, they were terrible hiding. Stan was clumsy and used to make noises kicking some cans on the floor or stepping on benches and dead leafs, Kenny's orange clothes should be spotted from a mile away but the worst was Cartman, trying to hide behind posts and skinny trees. Didn't he realized he was just hiding a third part of his whole ass?

They kept walking still, it's not like they minded at all, Craig just was out of fucks to give to Kenny following them the whole week, he never talked to them or interrupted them, never approached them at all or gave a signal to trying to hurt Tweek. The raven boy actually felt like punching him in the face at the beginning but Kenny's weird behavior became easy to ignore, besides, even when he hate him so much his boyfriend still was in good terms with him. Even worst, he didn't wanted to admit it but with the whole Mysterion thing Kenny earned some respect from Craig and even more during their "civil war" taking care of Tweek while they were separated and not trying to take a advantage of the situation.

But why Stan and Cartman now? They were harder to ignore and way more annoying than Kenny, he had zero respect for them and felt nothing but anger while near to them. Why were they there?

-Are they "they"?

-Agh! What? – Tweek asked.

-This morning on my bed you said "they" were gonna get you, were you talking about those idiots?

-GAH! I-I dunno, man. I still feel somebody is watching me…

-Kenny?

-No, somebody else.

-You sure it wasn't Kenny? He's been following us for a while this week, maybe he was looking after you at home last night?

-Ngh… I dunno… maybe?

-See, baby? It was nothing to be worried about. Not serial killer, not kidnapper, just a perv.

-H-HOW IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!?

-…yeah, you might be right, I'm sorry.

-Why is he following us anyways?

-I dunno, but Stan and Cartman are with him now, so they might be up on some of their weird things again.

-Shouldn't we ask them?

-Nope. I've had enough of their crazy shit for a month. Let's just ignore them for now.

-Alright…

After a while a magenta house showed at the distance, the Tweak's residence. The whole way went without anything annoying at all, except for the clumsy trio behind them snapping their cameras every now and then expecting to get some good shot for the asian girl, the whole holding hands things wasn't new since they used to do it in public the whole time, it had to be a very nice hand holding with nice background and some sweet expressions of them to be worth a dollar or maybe two, or… be lucky and get something else.

As the homosexual boys reached the house's door Craig's heartbeat speed, it's been two weeks since he wanted to take the next step. Maybe that's why Kenny has been following them? Because he noticed and wanted to know if Craig had enough gay balls to finally do it. It's not like he ain't do it before or like Tweek ain't do it before after all that was a reason why they bully Butters a long ago, it's never been a big deal so why the simple idea of Kiss the blonde screwed him that bad?

-Thanks for walking me home, Craig. – Tweek's tone was extremely sweet, after all he really enjoyed walking with Craig, take his hand and knowing he'll always arrive alive and in one piece while being next to him.

-Yeah… no problem, sweetheart… everything for you. -He gulped nervously

-You ok, dude?

-Yeah! I'm fine. Don't worry.

-My parents aren't home until dinner time, wanna come in?- the twitch boy said innocently but for some reason it sounded way more suggestive for Craig, and obviously for the stalking trio behind them.

-Dude! They're gonna have sex!- Cartman cheered.

-MMHHM MMH!

-Ok… that's kinda awkward..

-Don't be a pussy Stan, imagine how much we'll get for a picture of Craig wrecking Tweek's sweet ass!?

-MMHM MMH MHMHMMMH!

-TWO HUNDRED!?.- Stan exclaimed a little too loud.

-Shhhh! They're gonna hear us, stupid.

-Oh… sorry.

-We need to hide at the bushes in the window, if they fuck in the living room it's gonna be easy, just take as many pictures as you can and we'll pick the best ones.

-What if they go to Tweek's room?

-We'll need to climb to the second floor, I've sneaked on Kyle's house a lot and all the houses are pretty much the same.

-MMhhm mmh mmmh?

-Why would they want to fuck at the bathroom having the whole fucking house, Kenny? AND if they do we'll just sneak right to the-

HE COULD HEAR THEM! Didn't they noticed they were too close? Craig had a 200% done expression printed all over his face, he just wanted to leave now. Tweek's invitation was tentative but he had stuff to do anyways, specially now with their "friends" assuming things about them when they ain't even Kiss yet.

Tweek on the other side was blushing, just like Craig he heard everything, the whole plan to sneak to every point of the house no matter the place where they wanted to go for it, not like they were gonna do it, he took some notes to tell his parents to improve the security as well, if Cartman could sneak to peak inside the house, everyone could do it! But he stopped listening when the boys started to discuss about sexual positions and he decided to focus back on Craig who also had a shade of pink on his own cheeks.

-I-I guess it's a no for today…- the blonde lamented.

-Yeah… I… have some stuff to do, this whole career thing and… actually I'd like to talk to dad once he gets home if that's ok.

-MY-GAH!-MY DAD!?

-Calm down, I just want to apologize for something I said in the morning and talk a little bit.

-Oh…I didn't know you did something bad to him.

-It wasn't a big deal I-I'll come back after dinner.

-Ugh… w-would you like to have dinner with us? I-I don't think my mom would mind!

-I don't wanna be a bother.- He said walking closer to the blonde.

-You won't! You never are, Craig!

-Ok. see ya for dinner, then. – He stated with a smile.

-See ya. – Tweek smiled back.

Fuck them! Stalking or not he didn't care, they could say whatever they wanted to, it wasn't about them anyways, it was about he and Tweek, that beautiful materialized spaz right in front of him. Those beautiful eyes were worth watching for a life time, his round pink cheeks were prying to be stroke and the curve of his smile… he could hear those lips screaming and begging to be kissed and he felt forced to obey them, he wanted to taste them like he never wanted something else before and he was going for it now.

He looked down for a few seconds, getting it together, today was the day! Even with the stupid trio behind them, his unsure future, the Tweak's plan for their son and Tweek's confused look? He was gonna do it today! NOTHING WOULD BE ABLE TO STOP HIM! He shut his eyes closed and charged forward, he knew he might hear some of Tweek's little noises but this was different, it almost sounded like… a shutting door?... It also tasted like paint and felt hard and rough like wood… He quickly opened his eyes to find the door right in his face crushing his lips where Tweek's where supposed to be. He was confused.

-Dude… he just gave him the biggest "fuck you" in the face. – Cartman said at the distance and Craig could hear him.

He felt bad, a knot on his heart was twisting inside him. When he finally went for it, Tweek shut a door at his face, maybe he didn't like him anymore… no way! Why would he invite him to dinner then? Did Tweek read his intentions and freaked out? Craig's face wasn't that simple to read…

Lost in his mind he looked down again with a disappointed glance and started to walk his way home. He stopped at the bush where the boys were hiding, flipped it off without turning to look at it and kept walking with his face down and his hands on his pockets.

-Do you think he noticed us?...

-No way, guys! We're like pro ninjas.


	3. Chapter 3: Just like your dad

**Chapter 03: "Just like your dad"**

 _Hello there! I just want to apologize for all my terrible grammar mistakes on my last chapters, since english is not my first language and I'm actually writing this to improve it. It's a little hard, specially since my Word's auto corrector keep switching between languages and changes a few words every now  
_

 _I've been working on them to create a better experience and hope I can do better in the next chapters! Thanks again and I'm sorry if I suck at this LOL._

There was no use to stay, no gay boys together, no pictures for the asian girls. And after such rejection right on Craig's face seemed like they should wait until dinner time to spy again at Tweek's house and hope to get something.

Stan walked home still thinking how much fun and cash Kyle was missing, he wanted him to be part of the whole thing but once the red haired boy stated something it was easier to show Mohammad uncensored on international TV than change his mind.

-I'm home.

-Hey, Stan! How was school today?

-Fine I guess. We took this career thing.

-Oh~ well, that's interesting.- Said Randy sitting on the couch.- So, what you wanna be? A firefighter? A doctor? An incredible geologist like your awesome dad?

-Nah, they all sound kinda boring.

An offended Randy stand up gluten free beer in hand. A boring geologist? No way! Who the hell was this kid?

-Stan. Excuse me, son. But being a geologist is an incredible job!

-Is it?

-Yeah! I mean, you just look at these machines drawing zig-zags, check some rocks out and draw dicks on the paperwork.

-Dad, that sounds boring.

-Of course not, Stan! Is the best fucking job ever! You have time to do any shit you want and get pay like you actually did something. You can be JUST like your father.

Stan stared at Randy in horror. Be like him? A troublemaker drunker? He remembered all the stupid things his dad has done and how embarrassed he has feel the whole time, how much his family and the whole town suffered thanks to his terrible decision and impulsive actions.

-No thanks dad.

-Oh-OH~! I'm sorry Mr. "I'm too cool to my dad's job", what did you decide to be then?

-I didn't. I don't even remember what I wrote.

-Then you might love geology as well! Tell you what, I'll take you to my office tomorrow after school and you'll see how real shit is done there.

-Oh, Jesus…- Stan pinched the bridge of his nose while thinking "Here we go again".- I-I can't dad.

-Why not? We can spend a real good father-son quality time.

-Look dad, is not that I don't want to. It's just… me and the guys are getting money our own way and we-

-Oh that's great! You can bring your friends too!

-No dad! That's not what I mean!

-I can see it now, son. My Stanley, the greatest geologist South Park has ever had… besides Randy Marsh.

-Oh God…

.

.

.

Down the street at the Tucker's residence Craig was sitting in his bed with his regular blank face, not a single noise, not moving at all except for his casual blinking, the room was quiet, more than usual and the Tucker's noticed. For everyone else Craig was just being Craig, but they knew their son better and acknowledged something was wrong.

After a while the noriette heard a knock in the door. By not getting any response back, a red haired middle aged man came into the room.

-Hey. What's up, champ?

-It's nothing, dad.

-Does this "nothing" casually have a wild blonde hair?

-Goddammit… I… got rejected…

-What!? Oh no, you two broke up again?

-No! That will never happen again! I just… you know… I tried to kiss him and he shut the door at my face.

-Oh dang! That was a middle finger right to the heart.

-Dad! .- Craig exclaimed upset, his dad was suppose to be there to make him feel better, not shave his pain on his face.

-I'm sorry son.- The man said wrapping and arm around the boy's shoulder.. - You ain't be the first and you won't be the last to taste a door in the face. This stuff happens and believe it or not it happened to me twice with your mother.

-What?

-Yes, on the very first day we started dating I just wanted to take her to second base as quick as possible and end the game with a home run that same day.

-DAD! GROSS!

-She was home alone that night and I was young and stupid back then, I spotted my chance so I just charged into her.

-wow… I never expected you to be such a dick with mom… -Thomas flipped Craig off and he returned the gesture.

-The point is, Laura slapped the shit out of me and then shut the door right in my face. Your mother did opened my eyes and I realized I was going too fast on her, after all she is been always been really conservative and traditional yet I was pretty determined to get her anyways and nothing would stop me! When I realized time made me fall in love with her like I never did before and end up scoring with a golden ring on my hand. It might not be the same at all but maybe that's what Tweek is trying to tell you.

-Am I going to fast and being a total jerk?

-Maybe. I dunno what you both do alone at all.

-DAD! We've been dating since forever now and I'm still just able to take his hand. I just... I just want a little more! Not being a thirsty jerk like you just be a little closer to him.

-Aren't you close enough?

-I... It's just.. I'm always doing my best. I really REALLY like him. He makes me feel and act like a fucking idiot and somehow I enjoy it. I still can't believe how I call him with like a million stupid pet names and feel so good about it. It's just... I want to see him try a little harder. Besides the hand holding and he calling me his "boyfriend" I don't feel like there's much interest on his part... maybe he doesn't like me as much as I do like him...

-Son, no offense. But your boyfriend is pretty fucked up.- Even with the warning Craig couldn't help but feel offended. How could his dad say such thing about his so loved boyfriend? But he was right…- He is not like any other children I've ever met. He goes shaking for no reason, screaming around for nothing, pulling his hair and clothes and drinking coffee like his life is in the line.

-I know he is different, that's why I like him.

-Yeah, but you should consider that too. For his young age he seems like some meth addict that has live under a bridge for over a decade after escape a mental asylum or something.

-Are you gonna tell me your point or just make fun of Tweek? Because you're fucking pissing me off dad…

-Ok, the point is. The kid doesn't seem to be used to affection much. I'm not judging the Tweak's for anything but I know businesses take much time so Tweek might not have the attention from his parents as much as you have from us.

-I know… I wish I could do something about it.

-You are Craig. You might not notice but you're actually such a lovely-dovey teddy bear for him, I still cringe over some cheesy shit you do for him. I never expected you to be like that.

-Shut up!.- Craig protested blushing.

-You don't have to be ashamed. You have changed a lot for good, son. Since you've been kissing the floor his shaky foot walks on you've only get detention like once every two weeks. It just shows how much in love you are and you should NEVER be ashamed of love and that special person.

-I guess so… I just want to be a better person for him for some reason.- the boy said with pink cheeks still.

-And you will, Craig. Just let the kid have some time to get used to your cheesy ass and try to hold back a little on that so he won't get too annoyed just like your dad did long time ago.

-What do you mean by hold back like you?

-Let's just say history repeats itself and I'm looking for whatever happens next. Now stop being all quiet and lonely in your room. Your creeping your mom out.

-Fine, I'm meeting Tweek for dinner anyways. I guess I'll be going.

-That's my gay son!

-By the way, what happen the second time mom shut the door at your face?

-Oh, that was the very next day when I went to apologize.

-... oh, fuck...

.

.

.

Meanwhile at the Tweak's, Tweek's parents just arrived in time to prepare dinner, at least his mom. He went right to the kitchen and started to cook something, the news of Craig coming changed plans a little and Mrs. Tweak decided to make something better than just plain pasta and some fried chicken. Tweek noticed but said nothing, he knew his parents loved Craig, maybe even more than him. After all Craig was a regular child, no twitching, no shaking, no need for special attention or attention at all since he couldn't care less about it. Craig was just a breath of fresh air for his parents after dealing with him and his anxiety the whole time, so for him as well.

The twitching boy took his sheet from his backpack and walked to his dad who was reading the newspaper. The reason he took it home was to make sure his dad approved it before give it to Mr. Mackey.

-Hey, dad! Ngh-We-We had this career thing at school and I GAH!- Wanted you to look at it.

-Ok, let's see.

Mr. Tweak took the piece of paper and glanced at it, he drew a smile on his face while reading and Tweek felt relieved, it seemed like he liked it and got the approval he wanted.

-Well done, son. Can't wait to finally announce you as the new owner of the coffee shop in the future if you make it throw college.

-W-what do you mean?...

-Let's be real son, you have a problem. We've tried lots of coffee but your nerves are still the same. If you don't find a way to control them at all they'll kick you out of school, after all nobody wants to be right next to a gay giant vibrator.

-GAH! I DON'T WANNA BE KICKED! I MIGHT NEVER BE THE OWNER AND END UP LIVING IN THE STREETS!

-Indeed, so go get some coffee before you end up giving gay blowjobs for a living. We don't want to lost our only child and the "Tweak's" in the Coffee shop. We want you to be a proud owner just like your dad.

-YES, SIR!

Tweek ran to the kitchen to get some coffee, his mom gently took a mug and filled it with fresh black coffee for his son. She looked at him drinking the black liquid almost choking and then stared back at her husband, she quickly returned to Tweek who already finished his drink and was looking for more; she stared at her son for what felt like hours, Tweek noticed but said nothing, she used to do that often after all and he was pretty used to it.

The sound of a knock brought Tweek's attention to the door. The little boy leaved his mug in the table and ran to welcome the person he know was behind with a smile on his face. The door opened and revealed a tiny but gorgeous figure.

-Hey, babe.

-Craig! Come in, please!

Craig walked in, he has been twice in that house today. The atmosphere was better than early morning yet it still felt awkward. The tension build between him and Tweek's dad didn't feel in the air at all maybe he forgot about it? Mr. Tweak was cool most of the time talking with them every once in a while and not minding them the rest of the day as long as they had Tweek's door open.

What used to make Craig tense was Tweek's mom. He spotted her many times staring at them form the distance for quite long periods of time, even if Craig turned around to let her know he noticed, she never seemed to mind being caught and just kept staring at them with that blank face and her red lips curved into a smile. Her way too calm voice when she actually talked back didn't help either. He always tried his best to ignore her and act natural.

-Dinner is almost ready, boys.- Said the lady with her creepy calm voice.- Tweek, can you help me with the table?

-S-sure, mom.

-Want me to help too?

-It's ok, Craig. You are our guest today.- she stared at him in the way she used to, Craig was uncomfortable but didn't want to be rude to his boyfriend's mom.

-Take a sit, Craig. You can sit next to me!.- Said Tweek while setting the table looking way more calm than when he first opened the door.

-Thanks, honey. Ehmmm… Tweek, about earlier today… I just wanted to apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable lately. I'm sorry.

-What do you mean? I never feel that way when you're around.

-Just in case.

-Ok, it's dinner time and it looks great, honey! .- The man cheered while sitting at the head of the table. Mrs. Tweak served the food and everyone took a sit.

It was still pasta, but now a bolognese pasta with some basil and bacon on top, BBQ chicken and some boiled veggies, still a simple dinner but a little fancier that it was expected to be at first. They dig into the food, it was good, besides being really weird, Tweek's mom was actually good at cooking.

-It's pretty good, Mrs. Tweek. Thanks for allow me to join you for dinner.- She looked up to stare at him for a moment and then went back to her plate without a word.

-We are happy to have you here, Craig. We always though our son would die alone and kill the Tweak's bloodline, but even if his dick decided to kill the Tweak's name anyways at least we are glad he won't be lonely and miserable his whole life.

-GAH! I DON'T WANNA KILL ANYONE! I COULDN'T LIVE KNOWING I KILLED SOMEBODY! SPECIALLY WITH MY DICK! AGH! THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

-Deep breaths, sweetheart. You won't kill anyone. It's just and expression.- the raven boy said in a calm tone while stroking the blonde's arm.

-Oh God!...

-Don't worry son, even if you failed your natural life purpose you still have a bright future in the coffee shop, and even if not legit you can adopt some kid and kept the family business running for generations. Your child will be a coffee shop owner just like his dad and his grandpa.

-About that… -Craig interrupted .- I was thinking today about what happened in the morning Mr. Tweak.

-Oh yeah, I remember our little conversation now.- Richard said getting a darker tone on his voice.

-I just want to apologize, it was selfish on my part to think like that. You have been building this path for Tweek for years wanting the best for him and trying everything on your hands to give him a great future and I didn't see that before. I'm sorry.

-It's ok, Craig!. I'm so glad you understand now..- Richard's smile returned and his face was gentle as usual again.

After finishing, the boys helped cleaning the table and leaded to Tweek's room taking hands as usual with the now recurrent "they're so gay" behind them.

They quickly found themselves playing around with Tweek's legos, the twitchy boy loved them maybe way too much not just for how fun they were, but because there was nothing more lethal than step on one of them so he felt safe in his room with the deadly squares spread all over the floor. If someone tried to sneak in and kill him on his sleep he'd noticed by hearing a scream, a swear or something from the killer once he stepped on his unnoticed trap.

While playing, Craig observed his boyfriend playing, so enthusiastic. Stocking lego after lego and create something wonderful at the end, when calm he was extremely creative. If Tweek wanted to run the family business it was fine, but he had such much potential for more the raven boy couldn't help but lament such a waste of talent.

-You know… I think you'd made a great architect.

-What's that?

-The people who makes buildings, more like design them actually.

-I-I can't do that!

-Of course you can. Your lego structures are way better than mine and… stand longer.- Craig said while putting his hands away from his construction, once he did the pile of legos stood proud a little before falling apart into the floor.

-That's because you don't do it right!

-See? You know about this stuff. You also like to draw.- Craig pointed out at Tweek's walls. Since they've been dating the blonde started to fill his room with drawings of anything, mostly drawings about him and Craig and something he loved about their date that day using the fruit smelling markers Craig once gave him as a present.- I bet you'll be able to make great designs and maybe some earthquake proof ones since you know how to deal with trembling.

-You asshole.- Tweek chuckled at the joke, but maybe he was right. He really liked legos and drawing stuff but never tough about the potential of such simple things to define a profession.- I'd like that actually but… It's decided Craig. I appreciate what you're doing but this is it.

-Tweek, listen.- the noriette said standing in front of the blonde and looked at him right into his eyes, even when he was wearing his usual blank face Tweek could see some frustration on it.- You have way more potential than you think and it makes me sad you're wasting yourself to follow a plan you didn't even planned.

-They're my parents, Craig.

-Exactly. Parents should support their children and help them FIND their way throw life, not build a path for them to follow. I understand you dad's point, I really do! Maybe I would do the same for my child too if I could! But… the idea of forcing my ideal into my son it's just not right.

-What else you want me to do? I-I'm terrible at everything!

-Like acting? Remember how you said you was a terrible actor and yet made a fucking Oscar nomination performance in front of the asian girls?

-You're still mad about it?

-... No. Why should I?

-Then why you flip off the goth kid Michael every day before and after school for no reason? If you don't spot him around you even go looking for him just to give him the middle finger.

-For no reason.- He lied.- You are a great actor Tweek, I swear to God I'm feel like listening to an angel's voice whenever you sing, you can create songs, you play the piano, you draw amazing, you are good building stuff like lego buildings, origami and shit, you are amazing with your hands! .- he stopped for a second, an impure though coming into his mind, Oh God! All the shit everyone used to throw at them was affecting him now.- … and the fastest runner in the class too.

-I-I never though about it… but I dunno… I'm scared, Craig. I can't tell them right now! I don't even know myself!

-Then don't. We'll talk about it a little more and once you decide you want to give something else than just be your dad's coffee shop owner in the future a chance, call me and I'll be there to support you.

-Thank you, Craig. For everything.

-No prob, babe.

Tweek got lost in a calm deep blue ocean while staring at Craig's eyes, from all things he could never imagine to happen, being in his actual situation never ever crossed his mind in the past. Not just being gay, not just dating Craig: the boy labeled as a rebel and bad influence for everyone; but also being able to cross blind the label and find out how the real Craig was. Such lovely and supporting attitude still felt kinda off for him, but that didn't stopped Tweek from enjoy it and love it.

Craig's hands started to tremble a little, the blonde's gaze was sweet, deep warm. It felt like he was staring right into his soul. He found himself looking back at him at those light green eyes that remind him to a young forest glowing at day from some fairy tail. How was it possible for a human being to have such gorgeous eyes?

The comfortable silence around them somehow set up some kind of magic atmosphere both of them were aware. Craig's sweaty hands found themselves squeezing gently at Tweek's shoulders while he started to close the gap between their faces along with his eyelids. The blonde just stared at him, he didn't move to help him close the gap but didn't run away either. Just stayed still watching Craig's face approaching him. His heart raced and involuntary started to twitch.

The raven haired boy stopped immediately. He wanted it, he wanted to taste those lips so bad and maybe encourage Tweek to show more affection towards him. But even when he knew Tweek had no way to escape from him hands this time, the slight twitching made him stop. It was a way more subtle door shutting in his face and Craig remembered his dad's words.

-I-I'm sorry. Like I said before I won't make you feel uncomfortable.- he said with disappointment all over his face, and somehow the blonde seemed to share his expression.

-C-Craig.. I-I actual-

-GODDAMMIT! THAT'S NOT FAIR, GUYS! .- A familiar voice lamented from the window, a really unwanted voice.

-what the…- Craig approached the window and saw Cartman suspended into the air with a rope while Kenny and Stan tried hard to not let go the other side.- GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

-Guys! We're busted! ABORT THE MISSION, GUYS! ABORT IT!

Stan and Kenny ran away letting the rope go along with Cartman who hit the floor with a painful "fuck" and then started to run away behind his partners in crime while begging them to slow down a bit and wait for him. They didn't anyways.

-Goddammit! What the fuck is wrong with those idiots!?

-WHAT WERE THEY DOING HERE!?

-I dunno, but you see, baby? Maybe those jerks are the ones you've been feeling following you. Now you know that maybe you can stop worrying about it.

-I-I guess…

-Well, it's kinda late. I should be going home now.

-Oh yeah! I don't want you to walk in the dark streets! You might be mugged OR MURDERED! OH GOD! YOU HAVE TO GO HOME, CRAIG!

-Tweek, it's fine. I'm going home and arriving in one piece. Thanks for inviting me over. Ehm… s-see ya at school tomorrow.

-Yeah… s-see ya… Be careful. Please.

Craig leaved the room with a sad Tweek behind, why was he sad anyways? Maybe he was actually worried for him being potentially murdered? But it's not like that was new anyways... Once in the hallway he closed the door behind and turning to the stairs he found himself right in front of a woman.

-Ehm… thanks for everything Mrs. Tweak.

-You're going home now, Craig?

-Ehm… yup. We have school tomorrow so I can't stay much longer.

-I see… can I talk with you for a moment?

-Ehmmmm… s-sure…

The woman approached him and lowered herself down to Craig's level. The boy felt something in his stomach, he was extremely uncomfortable being around Tweek's mom but see her at his level staring right into his face was a new way of creepy. He gulped trying to calm himself maybe he felt this way because she was a pretty woman and he was gay? Maybe it had nothing to do with that blank face and that tiny smile staring right into his soul like she was looking for a flaw or a weakness she could later use to destroy his life or looking for a way to murder him on his sleep next time he made Tweek upset. Ok, now he was being the paranoid one…

-You are a good boy, Craig.- she finally said after a long silence.

-T-thanks, I guess…

-I see everything you do for Tweek and how much you try your best to make him feel better about everything.- Mrs. Tweak watching on them the whole time? That wasn't creepy at all!.- I just want to thank you.

-For what?

-For make our son that happy. We never considered he'd ever have someone else looking after him. I appreciate it.

-Well, it's not like you don't do that for him either..-

Silence again… and extremely awkward silence filled the place, so heavy Craig could feel it starting to suffocate him while the woman drilled holes into him with her gaze. It just lasted a few seconds but it felt like years for the boy. The brunette female finally stood up again and guided her right hand into the pocket on her apron. She took something and then took Craig's hands placing a cold object between his fingers before turning back to him without letting go.

-Can you make me a promise, Craig?

-…ok?...

-Promise you'll always take care of my Tweeky-boy whenever I can't.

-Promise. It's not like I do that everyday or something.

-Thank you Craig. Now you should be going, it's getting dark outside.- She said while literally dragging Craig downstairs and out of the house.- Take care, sweety. And remember you are always welcome here.

-Thanks.- Kinda ironic since he could tell she just kicked him out of the house on a really nice way.

-One more thing, Craig. Don't shy much around Tweek, he might look distant and maybe confuses you but he really really likes you. He is extremely emotional about everything yet he is bad showing affection to others specially the ones close to him. I hope you can understand him better soon and not pull back next time you try to kiss him.

-W-WAIT! W-WHA… DID YOU-¡? OH GOD! .- His whole face was red, he just didn't failed at kissing Tweek, AGAIN. But also his mother witnessed his miserable attempt.

-Besides what you might think, he is more than ready to take the next step. He is just afraid but I can assure you he might surprise you later if you keep waiting.

The woman said finally closing the main door leaving Craig alone with his thoughts again. What did she meant? He wondered for a second before feeling the mysterious object in his hands. He uncurled his fingers from his palms revealing a silver key. He stood there looking at the metallic object before walking to the door in front of him. He inserted the key in the door's knob and after a "click" it opened. He had the Tweak's house key now and somehow it felt like something symbolic about him and Tweek too.

He took a quick look inside before close the door, from the kitchen he spotted the woman cleaning a plate in the middle of the kitchen with a soft smile on her face while staring at him. Same blank face, same tiny smile, same eyes… it didn't feel creepy anymore, somehow it was a warm and sweet.

-How do you know he is ready?

-He is just like his mom after all.

Craig replied with a little smile from his part and shut the door before leading to his own house.


	4. Chapter 4: Decisions

**Chapter 05: Decision.**

* * *

 _Almost done to start the weird part here! Hope my grammar and narrative have improved at least a little bit since chapter 1 :'3 sorry if the chapter are getting longer too! I'll try to cut them in the future!_

* * *

The next morning started simple and boring just like Craig liked it, he completed his routine and got ready to leave. Once at school he waited in the main door, his emotionless face and straight position reminded the other kids to some real guard from the UK palace, and heck he was, he was ready to give his life and do anything to protect the person he worshiped, except he wasn't a queen.

A familiar scream approaching cracked a smile on his face. He spotted at the distance some blonde hair that seemed being attacked by birds in the way to school. A death pale kid wearing his regular green shirt buttoned all wrong, black bags under his eyes and crocked tooth biting his lower lip, his shoes laces weren't done and he was dragging his backpack leaving a path of all his stuff behind while carrying a medium size pink box on his other hand trying hard not to drop it, like his life depended of it. He was running all the way to school screaming loud and clear enough to be declared as South Park's official second alarm to wake up.

Such fucked up kid everybody tried to ignore was at Craig's eyes always surrounded by a pink aura. He was just perfect, he loves him soooo much!

-GAAAHH! I'M SO SORRY CRAIG! I'M LATE!

-Not really.

-NO, MAN! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I WAITED FOR THE GNOMES TO APPEAR AGAIN ALL NIGHT AND I FELL ASLEEP IN THE MORNING!

-That's good. You need a little more sleep anyways.

-BUT WHAT IF I COULDN'T MAKE IT IN TIME!? WHAT IF YOU DIED WAITING FOR ME THE WHOLE DAY AND ENDED UP GETTING DETENTION! OR WORST! END LIKE THAT DOG FROM THAT MOVIE! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE 'CAUSE I SLEPT OVER!

-Tweek, It's ok. You are here and right in time. Calm down.

-Agh…. Right…

The noirette looked at the box on Tweek's hands. The blonde instinctively tried to hide it somewhere, but failed since there was nowhere to hide it. He just gazed at the floor shrieking and biting his lower lip.

-Want to tell me what's in there?

-I-I'm… GAH!

-It's ok if you don't want to. Come on, baby. Let's get your books, we don't want to be late.

-Ok…

Since Tweek needed both of his hands to hold the pink box still they couldn't walk talking hands. Craig cursed the pink thing in his mind but kept walking along Tweek. They soon reached the twitchy boy's locker, he unlocked the door and took the books he needed. Once done, he carefully placed the box inside and closed his locker's door returning his attention to Craig.

-I-I'll see you at lunch, Craig.- said the blonde walking away leaving a confused boyfriend behind.

Fortunately time pass faster this day. He wasn't worried at all anymore. Things were going well again with Tweek's dad, Mrs. Tweak somehow wasn't the creepy woman he once believed she was, Tweek seemed inspired to look for more options for him and now the family trust him enough to give him a copy of their residence's key. The fact that they were learning about the universe today was totally a bonus tho. It was lunch time and so far the day has been incredible, the only thing left to make it perfect was Tweek's company at the table, yet he couldn't spot the blonde anywhere.

-Hey~ Craig~!

-What's up, dude!.- Clyde and Token approached the table Craig was sitting on.

-Hey, guys. Just waiting for Tweek.

-Awwww~ Craig you're so cute!

-SHUT UP, CLYDE!

-Ask Token if you don't believe me!

-H-Hey! Don't drag me into this.- Token protested.

-Well-well-well~ if Mr. Black don't wanna hear the news then fine! After all, get the Brand new news first is the best friend's privilege anyways~

-What are you talking about, Clyde?

-Oh~ so now you're interested, uh? You hear that Craig?

-Whatever…

-Oh come on, dude! Tell us how it went!.- The brunette male said putting an arm around Craig. He gave him an inquisitor stare and a mischievous smile making Craig blush.

-Clyde, can you please tell me what's going on?.- Token asked totally lost in the conversation.

-Tell him, Craig! Tell him what you told me yesterday at third period~

An awkward silence decorated with Craig's red face as the cherry at the top. Clyde was delighted looking at his friend's rare look.

Craig was always wearing this stoic emotionless face almost impossible to read and get some emotional response from him was extremely hard, but since the gay boys started to date, Tweek was the raven's weakness: one single button to push and Clyde always knew how to do that and God! It was sweet! A sweet revenge after all the mean things he always used to tell him.

Yet Craig remained quiet but Clyde wouldn't give him the right and let him win this time, specially with something THAT big and juicy.

-CraigtoldmehewasplanningtofinallykissTweekyesterday.- He rushed before Craig could interrupt him.

-GODDAMMIT, CLYDE! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

-woah! So, you did it?.- Token asked. Even when he didn't like to be involved into his friend's relationship like Clyde, this was actually interesting.

-… kinda?, n-not at all.

-You chickened out at last second, right?-Clyde teased.

-I-I almost got it!- Craig confessed still with a vibrant shade of red on his cheeks turning worst once his two asshole friends started to laugh at him.

-I ALMOST GOT IT!- Another voice lamented at the other side of the cafeteria.- I ALMOST GOT IT YOU GUYS! If that motherfucker wouldn't be such a pussy and back off at last second I've got it!

-Cartman, relax.- Stan said while eating his lunch.- We didn't got them kissing but you took a nice shot of them really close. Twenty box each is a pretty sweet deal.

-MhMM! – Kenny cheered while digging in his food, three slices of pizza, some of his favorite juice he barely had a chance to drink since he couldn't afford it often and still got enough money to but something for Karen too.

-And who you need to thank? Huh? ME! The asian girls just wanted to pay forty for the picture but thanks to me they gave us sixty. We need to get that picture, guys. WE NEED IT!

-How? Craig seems too afraid to do it for now.

-You don't get it, Stan. We have a bunch of sick asian girls waiting for us to power up their sick fantasies with gay boys loving each other and will pay ANYTHING for them as long as we can provide the NEED that material, and we'll get it.

-Mmmhhmm mhhhmh.

-Drug dealers?

-We are not selling drugs, Kenny! What we are doing is totally legal unlike your poor family with their meth lab. Now THAT is illegal, nobody gives a fuck about what we are doing for a living here.

-Stalking sounds illegal to me, fatass! You can go to jail for that!.- Cartman rolled his eyes as Kyle joined their table.

-What the hell are you doing here? I thought Kahl~ didn't want to be part of the business!

\- I don't. I just wanted to join you guys for lunch like usual.

-Well, guess what? Just partners allowed. And if you don't want to be part of the team and cooperate with a plan to get a good picture of those two making out, you can just go somewhere else and fuck yourself.

-Goddammit…- Kyle cursed under his breath while walking away to another table. Stan looked at his friend feeling really bad for him, he wanted to follow him, but the money was too easy to earn and he wanted to buy that new video game so bad.

-Kyle! Wait.- He walked towards him.

-What? I thought you wanted me to go fuck myself since I don't have anything to contribute to your stupid business.

-Look, I know this whole thing might not be good at all. But I won't do it today and I'd love to hang out with my friend.- Kyle was stunned, that was really nice. He knew Stan was too good to that shit.

-Oh, sure! Something in mind?

-Well… actually… we are going to my dad's job and watch him looking at rocks and… draw dicks.

-WHAT!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

-Dude look! The guys don't want to come and I don't want to be just by myself. I might bore to death! I need someone to talk or I'll turn totally insane there!

-Why should I do that after you agreed with Cartman pushing me aside for the sake of money?

-Because your my best friend.

-You think that's enough!?

-Remember when YOU dropped me out when I needed you just to go and sell burgers with him? Talk about leaving a friend for money.

-…Goddammit, Stan…

.

.

.

Clyde and Token were still trying to get details from Craig but he stayed quiet praying in silence for a miracle, for someone who could save him. And God heard his pledge sending a golden haired angel.

-Hey guys… sorry for being late.- Tweek greeted.

-It's ok, honey. I saved your spot.

A malicious grin cracked on both of their friend's faces. Craig was strong and hard to break, but Tweek used to give details away without thinking, and with enough pressure he'll tell everything. Yet the last one was a pretty bad idea, upset Tweek or push him into a panic attack was just a good option if you wanted to end the day with a broken nose or a black eye signed by Tweek's walking brick wall, Craig. They had to go easy on him.

Their attention however soon focused on the pink box Tweek was carrying. Token and Craig were trying to figure out what could be inside such mysterious box, but Clyde already detected the content. And OH BOY! he was excited! The interrogatory can wait a little.

-Lucky us, guys! No surprise test, Bebe asked me to go to the movies after school, today's lesson wasn't that bad and now… THIS! – Clyde exclaimed excited while pointing out the box.

-What's in the box, Tweek?.- The african-american kid asked. And the blonde just blushed before loot directly at his boyfriend eyes.

-I just remembered some stuff… Craig joined me and my parents for dinner yesterday, we talked about our future and he helped me to remember all things I like besides just coffee.

-Awwww~ a formal dinner with the parents. Please invite me the day you decide to propose him at some fancy restaurant.

-Clyde… I swear to God…- the noriette warned, his voice was all serious again and Clyde decided to be a wise still breathing little man and shut up. After all he had a date that afternoon.

-So…- Tweek cut the tension between the two with his cheeks glowing pink while opening the box.- I made these! I-GAH! I-HOPE YOU LIKE THEM!

Their eyes became bigger once Tweek reveled the content, Clyde's tears escaped from his eyes and started to run across his face. Such a divine image, so beautiful. Just like when two lovely parents see their first child for the very first time, how a mother looks at his lost kid after being found, how average people look at kitten compilation videos on internet. Such a gorgeous view, he couldn't help but shed some tears of joy.

-I-I made some cupcakes and cookies. Look!.- Tweek explained showing one of his cute cookies shaped as a tiny stegosaurus.- I remember how much I like dinosaurs so I got this cookie cutter, it's just like my dino plushy Steve. And I actually made chocolate and orange cupcakes this time, I wanted to do something different from the ones I sent to North Korea. I think… I want to be a baker some day and make all kinds of cute sweets!

-Tweek, honey….

-Yes, Craig?.- Hope was brimming on Tweek's eyes, his smile was genuine, his voice sounded excited; he was shinning and blasting with positivity. He looked beautiful.

-Honey… that's the gayest thing I've ever heard…- Craig replied on his monotonous voice.

-AGH! YOU ARE A FUCKING DICK, CRAIG!

-I'm kidding!.- The raven laughed.- But it's still gay.

-You're gay!

-Same for you! Oh~ Things make sense now.-Tweek giggled. His boyfriend was indeed a dick. But boy! He loved that dick, wait wha…?

-Can I take one!? Please!? Please-please-please-please! Tweek's baking is the best!.- Clyde cried.

-yeah… that's bad.- Craig complained.

-Why? What's wrong with my baking?

-The problem is that's better than Cartman mom's, I fear I'll end up being a fucking lard ball like him or Clyde…

-HEY! I'm not THAT fat!

-You are still fat.- said the noriette while eating a cookie, it was good. SO GOOD! He actually considered his words seriously.

-You know, that might actually be good for Tweek.- Token commented while taking a bite of his cupcake.- If you've become as fat as Cartman and considering your attitude nobody would want you and Tweek will never have to worry about somebody trying to take you away from him.- he joked.

-Not funny, dude.- Craig protested. He wanted to say something else, yet his words die on his tongue when he felt some eyes staring at him.

His blonde boyfriend had that blank expression he used to use, both stared at each other for a moment while their friends were enjoying the sweet treats. After a while Tweek offered him two more cupcakes with an "EAT THEM" look on his face forged like an order instead of a suggestion. Was he actually taking seriously what Token just said?

Craig stared back like a very confused turkey looking at the farmer offering him food while standing next a calendar with thanksgiving marked. Was it worth to take the risk?

-Just kiss already, guys! I can't stand the sexual frustration anymore!.- Clyde finally decided to stop the staring contest earning two blushy faces an embarrassed blonde and a death stare with date and hour marked.

-STOP IT RIGHT NOW, CLYDE! OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!

-Just kidding~ right Tweek?~

-GAAAAH!

-See? He agrees. It was a joke, dude. Relax, we know you are too chicken anyways.

.NOT!

-Prove it, Romeo! Right here, right now! I bet one hundred box Tweek kisses you first sick of waiting for you to do it!

-I don't think he'll ever do such thing.- Said Token.- I bet Craig will get it together soon.

-OH! You have a deal, Mr. Black!

-WE ARE STILL HERE IN CASE YOU FORGOT, ASSHOLES!

-You are right, Craig. You are both still here, now be a man and kiss Tweek so I can see Clyde cry already.

-What!? Token! How could you!?

-AGH!

-What can I say, it's kind of an interesting bet actually.

-FUCK YOU, AND YOU TOO!.- Craig flipped them off taking his time to point his hand to them individually.- You bunch of jerks put all this pressure on us to date! Well we are dating now! And not like before! We are still together because we want to! And whenever happens that I get my shit together and kiss Tweek I want it to be because I want to! Not because somebody else tells me to do so! ... Let's get out of here, Tweek….

Craig took Tweek's hand and leaved the place spending the rest of lunch time outside just sitting right next each other avoiding visual contact. The day was just going so well, but Clyde had to ruin it…

-Are you mad at me...?

-Why should I? You didn't do anything wrong.

-I just... I feel like, sometimes or most times when you get embarrassed and angry for that it's for something about me...

-Tweek, that doesn't mean you are the problem if that's what you're trying to say.

-But I am! Look at me Craig! I AM a problem for my parents! I AM a problem for you! EVEN FOR MYSELF! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF EITHER!

-Tweek, listen up!.- A maybe too sharp squeeze on the blonde's shoulders snap him back meeting some ice deep blue eyes. You a problem. Is that clear? Don't you dare call yourself a problem again!

-B-But I-

-DON'T! Don't you dare to say it!.- The ice on Craig's gaze melted away, his eyes were now sweet and warm looking deep down into Tweek's green ones.- Tweek, I don't give two flipping shits about anything, EVERYONE has problems and none is perfect... but heck, you are fucking close in my standards.

-Are you flirting right now to distract me?.- Tweek giggled. - Because it's working.

-Anything for my precious boyfriend.- Craig smiled and Tweek couldn't help but hide his face between his hands. God! How such an asshole can be so sweet?.

-Craig, can I ask you something?.- The blonde asked with a shy smile and pink cheeks.

-Sure, babe.

-Do I...- he stopped a moment looking in his mind for the right words and put them together, he had to be clear. His heart raced and his usual twitching started to take over his thin body. Craig noticed, but something was off. He was trembling yet he seemed somehow under control.- Craig... do you love me?

The raven got caught of guard, first a controlled trembling, not panic attack, not screaming, not hair pulling. And now from all the things that could be asked it has to be THAT question. Worst thing... he had no idea what to say, It was just a "no-yes" question.

-I-I dunno...

-...You don't?... but... I thought you do love me! CRAIG!

-Tweek! Listen up! It's not that I don't! I just have no idea. I've never been in love at all before, so I dunno for now but... I think I really do.

-You think!? So you're not sure! We've been dating for a long time but you have no idea if you like me or not!? AGH! Seems like I wasn't that wrong at the "stepping on others" part!

-I do like you Tweek, a lot. I'm just trying to figure out the whole "love" thing.- He explained calmly. He had to go easy on the upset blonde. Once Tweek started to shot daggers throw his wet eyes and start to spit poison it was a matter of time to get punched in the face if he was not careful enough.

-Oh, right! And how do you plan to do it!? Dating me for ten more years just to realize you've never loved me at all and drop me like garbage while I...I-AGH! GAHHH! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

-Tweek...

-WHA-!?

Halfway his protest, Tweek's words suddenly die on his venomous lips. His eyes shot open his tears still present on the corners, his face just earned a brand new red color it has never turned before and his mind turned blank, he almost forgot how to breath.

Craig placed a sweet kiss right in the corner of Tweek's mouth, even if it wasn't a "real" kiss it was so close. Tweek could feel his breath on his face, his lips were so soft against his skin he considered quickly turn a bit to met them and kiss them back, but it was already too late when the idea came out. The black haired one had already broke contact. The blonde was totally speechless.

-I still don't have enough balls... sorry Tweek. But THIS is the plan, once I can finally do it, I'll know. By how damn hard it's been these last weeks I think I already know the answer but I want to be one hundred percent sure.- He said with a very considerable blush on his own face.

-So... - finally started to work again.- That's why you've been weird lately.

-What do you mean?

-You know, you've been spacing out for a while, like yesterday after school. You said goodbye and just stood there. I didn't know what to do so I just thought It'd be better to just close the door.

-... Ohhhhhh~ it was that... well, that's embarrassing...

-I know, right?

-No I mean... that day I was totally going for it. But I thought you read me and shut the door at my face to tell me to slowdown.

-What!? You were trying to kiss me that time?

-Ehmm... yup.

-Goddammit, Craig! Why you didn't get it together faster!?

-What!? You wanted it?

-I'm your boyfriend, stupid!

-I know! That's why I'm trying hard here! I was just afraid to give you a heart attack or something.

-You won't. You can... try it now if you don't believe me

Tweek gave a sweet glance to Craig, the kiss he just got was amazing and it wasn't even on the lips, he wanted more. He was now desperate to taste Craig too, but get enough courage to do it was hard, he has never been brave before, always the coward scary cat. But if he dying of a heart attack was what was stopping Craig, he had to make sure he'll know he wouldn't and finally have his boyfriend leading in the right angle this time.

The offer was tempting, the bet was done and the price was know. But Craig's plans were different, he loved cliches way too much to spend his maybe true love kiss on such situation. It had to have fireworks, rain or at least a starry sky behind.

-I'll save it, I want to wait for the perfect moment.

-Oh come on! Just kiss me already!

-Nope, it has to be on a very important moment with a great atmosphere. If I'm in love I want to feel like in one of those old movies.

-You are such a pussy! A huge old fashion and... romantic pussy...

-That's kinda hard to picture. But, thanks.

The bell rang announcing the end of lunch time and both returned to the main building to class.

Nothing they knew about the kid on orange clothes hiding in the bushes. Can be spotted while a mile away, huh? well not this time. A wide grin spread across his face under the hoodie while looking at the picture on his phone. He could taste the food, the drugs and the bitches he'll get selling that picture to the asian girls. Even if it looked obvious that it wasn't a kiss on the lips, the picture still showed Craig placing his lips on a shocked Tweek. After a quick victory dance he rushed back to class like the other two.

Nothing he knew about the other shadow hiding on the even further bushes. A frustrated face watching over and over the video of the blonde trembling but not losing control at all.

-Goddammit...!.- The person cursed, he shot a death stare at the boy in blue wearing a chulo hat with a yellow puff ball on top and how his touch seemed to stop the blonde from twitching. He closed the video player and made a call.- Boss, we have a problem. We need to look for information of this Crai- N-NO WAIT PLEA-!

A loud noise of something hard breaking, a liquid splashing around and the sound of a dead line. Then silence.

.

.

.

At the end of last period Craig finally handed his sheet to the teacher, he couldn't figure out yet what he wanted to be at all, so he just wrote a list with the possible options he considered the day before.

Still mad for the whole cafeteria scenario he decided to go and get Tweek straight from his classroom, waiting for him at the main door increased the chances to see Clyde and Token again and he wasn't in mood for that.

The place was empty except for one trembling boy on his desk and the teacher cleaning the board. Craig approached the blonde and inspected the piece of paper his pencil was aiming to. It was a mess, the marks of t least three layers of words one on top of another were still visible on some points, the traces of the eraser almost ripped off the piece of paper on many spots.

-You need help?

-GAH! Craig!? I-I didn't hear you coming. I thought you'll be waiting for me outside.

-Wanted to change the routine today.- He pointed out while taking a chair and sitting next to him.- So… ain't figure your mind yet?

-I-I dunno, man… I dunno anything anymore.

-What's the problem? I thought you said you wanted to be a baker.

-I do! Well… kinda… There are many things I now remember I like and I'd want to try them all but I know I can't. And I just can't pick one! WHAT IF IT'S THE WRONG ONE!?

-Tweek, calm down. As long as you like it, like REALLY REALLY like it, it's never gonna be the wrong one. And even if you fail at least you discovered something new about yourself and that's one step closer to find what you actually want.

-I can't fail, Craig! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, CRAIG! I CAN'T FAIL!

-We all fail, Tweek. We always fuck something up once in a while one way or another. All our life depends on our own mistakes, if we fail we are fucked and all our future can be fucked just like us.

-GAH! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

-The thing is learn, stand and not fuck it up again… at least in the same way. Thinking about all the possible things that might go wrong helps somehow, but to really learn how to deal and actually evade those things you need to fuck up at least once. And better start soon since you don't have many chances when you are getting old. There are things and situations we can't control and the best we can do is face them to know if your plan to evade them works or not.

-You seems to know a lot.

-Somehow gotta thanks those four morons for once.

-What do I write, then?...

-I didn't pick. I wrote a list with options.

-Did the teacher accept it?

-Yeah.

Tweek focused on his sheet and his pencil, we was more than decided to write something there yet his twitching hand didn't move.

-Tweek, I'm sorry but it's getting late and I need that sheet for today.- Said the teacher.

-AGH! ONE SECOND, PLEASE!.- He tried again, his whole body was shaking and he started to taste blood for bitting his lower lip too hard.- GAH! IT'S WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

-Here. Let me help you.

Craig took the pencil from his hand and wrote something on the paper. Tweek's eyes wide at the words, it was the perfect answer. Craig pushed himself away from Tweek and placed the chair on it's original spot after taking their backpacks and lead to the door.

The blonde stared at him amazed, Craig was incredible. He was everything he always wanted, in fact… Tweek quickly took his pencil again and wrote something else on the sheet. With a smile on his face he leaned over the piece of paper to the teacher and joined Craig at the door.

-What did you wrote at the end?.- The raven boy handed over the extra backpack he had.

-What I want to be.

-Wasn't enough with what I wrote for you?

-Not at all.- Said Tweek while holding Craig's hand.- Close enough, but you forgot a tiny detail.

-What?

-I'm not telling you!

-W-WHAT!? Why not!?

-I'm mad with you for forget about it!

-Oh, come on! That's bullshit!

-Maybe you can make it up later-

The teacher stayed in the room listening to the little voices fade away as the boys left school today. She smiled to herself before read the first part of the sheet again.

Blurry letters, some coffee drops here and there and a clear handwriting with the words "I want to be happy" right after the question of what that kid wanted to be in the future. And a little written over the first was a second handwriting, more hurried and way less detailed than the first one but legible enough to read "by Craig's side"


	5. Chapter 5: Mark of death

**Chapter 05. Mark of death.**

* * *

 _So, the weird part is finally happening here. **  
**_

* * *

The sky was cloudy that day, the air was fresh but not cold at all. Craig's warm hand contrasted perfectly with weather. Just like when you stay in bed fully covered on your favorite fluffy blanket on a lazy rainy morning at Saturday, it was extremely cozy. It felt like home even when they were actually walking on the Street leading to Tweek's actual house.

The whole school morning has been a huge step for the young boys, a step forward to build a better relationship. With baby steps, but it was moving forward way better than expected. Even better than most adult's relationships. That was kinda messed up…

Even when Tweek already established how he was ready for the next big step Craig was afraid. The blonde was very determinant, and when he wanted to do something you can bet he'll do it yet he was a scary cat who jumped at any sudden contact and screamed for any tiny sound near him. He had to be careful and go slow on him.

Their first kiss had to be special, Craig didn't accept being gay and go through such dramatic situation and negation to just plant a kiss for no particular reason on the boy who made him doubt about his sexuality. He had to wait for the perfect moment or set it up himself and make it perfect.

A slight shriek all the way Tweek's spine made him jump a little bit, but he recovered just as soon once he noticed the sudden move was just Craig's hand turning from a regular hand holding to a lovely and firm hand interlock. That was enough for now.

They kept walking in silence, it wasn't even a little awkward, there was no need of words to know both were happy in that very moment. As Tweek responded the gesture giving a little squeeze back, he wished the time just stopped and he could be like this forever with his now clear future literally on his hand. He couldn't wish for anything else.

-We are here, honey.- Craig's voice threw the blonde back to reality as they stood right in front of the wooden door once he smashed right into the raven's face. He now fell bad…

-Oh… yeah. Ehmm…

-So, wanna hang out a little?

-Egh-sorry, man. I need to go to help my parents today. I-It's cloudy today! People go looking for coffee more than ever! Specially if it rains. Oh god!I hope it doesn't! There would be a lot of p-people! GAH! What if I get lost in the crowd!? WHA-WHAT IF THEY END UP STEPPING ON ME AND THEY CRUSH ME TO DEAD!? OH JESUS! I DON'T WANNA BE CRUSHED TO DEATH, CRAIG!

-Tweekers, calm down.- Craig said still interlocking fingers with the blonde using both hands facing at him.- You'll need all South Park to go looking for coffee at the same time to end up in that situation. So the chances are almost zero. Don't worry.

-O-ok… ngh-Ok!...I-I'm really sorry Craig, I really wanted to spend more time with you… and see how you'd made up!

-Oh God…give me a fucking break. I don't even know why are you mad at me! Can you at least tell me?

-No! It's part of your punishment for forget. You'll never know until you figure it out by your own!... or make something really nice for me…?

-Good Lord, please have mercy on me. With all this conditioning and punishment for no reason I feel like on an abusive relationship. Should I tell someone about this?.

-Ugh-y-your such a drama queen.

-It's drama QUEER for you! .

-You are not a queer, you are just fucking gay!- they both giggled.

-I guess you're right. So, anything particular on your mind to finally being worth enough of that secret thing I forgot?

-Not really.- the blonde bit his lower lip.- But I'll tell you if I think on something.

-Why do you always have to be so complicated?

-Why do you always have to complain about everything?

-Touché. Guess… I should be going home then.

-ag-alright…

They didn't want to let go, each other's touch was mesmerizing but Tweek will get in trouble if he didn't hurry and go help his parents. Maybe this time they'll be so mad they'll actually decide to sale him to slavery to some creepy man. Craig took a second look of the tiny hand, bony fingers and nails too short with bite marks all over the edges, a dry and dead pale skin… such delicate and beautiful hand.

-Craig… I think I know what I want you to do for me.

-What is it, babe?

-Can you come tomorrow for dinner again? I want to tell my dad about my options and I'd like you to be there for me.

-I'll be there. Or here or.. well you know. Count on me.

-Thanks, Craig. I can't compare you since I don't have anyone to, not like I'd been in this situation before but… I think you are a wonderful boyfriend.

-You have some dark witchcraft that gets the best of me the whole time, how do you do that?

-You'll never know! Or maybe if you do something ELSE for me~?

-Oh, please! Not again. That's psychological abuse.

He finally let go after stroke each of the twitching digits. And after a 'goodbye' he lead his own way home with his cold hands on his pockets. Tweek gentle touches his own fingers in the places Craig already did, even if that crowd shows on the coffee shop and steps on him crushing him to death, he'd die happy. He doesn't want tho…

.

.

.

Meanwhile near the forest, a car parks right next a small building. Today is the day Stanley Marsh will finally understand and appreciate the fine art of watching rocks and hang up with friends and drawing dicks on paperwork the rest of the day. Art at it's finest.

As the black haired man enters the office followed by two already annoyed children, the co-workers greet them.

-Hey Randy! What's up?

-Are those rocks too much so you had to hire children to help you do the job?

-Ha-ha! So funny guys. This is my son Stan and his friend Kyle.- Randy explained as his pals surrounded the three.

-So, you are illegally exploiting your own son? What a nice father.

-Oh no! I brought them here to show them what we do! Stanley just had this career quiz and SAID that SOMEONE'S job is BORING!

-Oh-OOOOHH! No! He didn't!

-Kids these days have no idea what a good job is even if it hits them right in the face.

-Yeah! I know right? So we are gonna show him how wrong he is and how important our contribution to our society is.

Didn't last long until the boys found themselves surrounded by a bunch of red wine boosted adults, yeah! Such a great contribution for society and science. Stan was already pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance, why his father had always to be like this?

-Oh Christ… I knew this would happen…

-Me too… can we go home now?

-Do you really want my drunk dad to drive you home?

-He is gonna do it anyways, better go now than wait until he gets worst.

-You're right…- Stan sighed.- I'll go talk with him.

The black haired boy has heard that office work has a lot of this kind of things, low days when everyone just chilled out and spend a good time together before working their asses off again and repeat. But this situation seemed like it was an everyday thing, doing almost nothing and party the rest of the time.

-Dad, we want to go home.

-What?.- Randy turned around to face Stan with a glass of wine on his hand.- Stan, come on! We ain't even start to do the good stuff here!

-What good stuff?

-You know… stare some rocks and…

-I want to go home, dad. Kyle is tired too.

-Yeah!.- Kyle agreed sitting in the background.

-Ugh… alright, but you will never dig into the beautiful mysteries of Earth.

-Dad, please.

-Fine… I'll go get my keys.

The boys cheered up they were finally ending this awful boring day even if it just lasted three hours it fell like forever. Randy walked throw the car and the boys jumped inside. He was about to start the engineering when…

-RANDY! WAIT UP!

-What? I'm busy here taking two ungrateful kids back to town.

-IT'S THE ZIG-ZAG MACHINE!

-What's with it?

-THE SYMBOL! THE SYMBOL WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARS! IT FINALLY APPEARED!

-My God…

Randy almost fell to the ground trying to get out of the car and speed up inside the building again following his partner. The boy exchanged a confused glare but decided to follow him.

Inside, the men were arguing about something around the machine when they spotted Randy.

-What's going on?

-It happened, Randy! It's happening!

-Show me that!.- The father said taking the paper from the table.

The machine was out of control, zig-zaging like crazy with a few twitches between lines. The sporadic trembling allowed the machine to cut the lines on specific spots, and instead of a long line forming spikes up and down it seemed like it was drawing something else.

A symbol they all knew, a picture they have been worshiping for years and feared one day will be lined by that machine bringing nothing but chaos and destruction to the whole planet…

-Oh my gosh… it drew a dick…

-what?...- the boys asked at unison.

-The prophecy… it's true after all…

-Dad, what are you talking about!?

-We didn't draw enough dicks! WE DIDN'T DRAW ENOUGH DICKS AS OFFERING TO THE EARTH!

-What's that suppose to mean!?.- Kyle protested.- Why would you draw dicks for Earth!?

-Stan, Kyle. Listen up, on ancient times some ancient people crated the dick-pic we know now days as a protection symbol.

-You're kidding, right dad?

-No I'm not, Stan! The dick has been a secret sacred symbol of protection that has been used for generations. Adults show it to the young, the young explode it's power embracing the feeling because deep inside they know it's important, so they spread it around the world in walls, desks, tables, boards, notebooks; the kids look at the sacred symbol, learn it and keep it on spreading for the younger generations behind. That's why you see dicks everywhere, son. That's why we can't stop. It's on our blood to spread it to be safe and prevent this to happen. BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW! KIDS THESE DAYS ON THE INTERNET NOT DRAWING ENOUGH DICKS AROUND THE WORLD! AND MODERN FEMINISM BLAMING IT FOR BEING A HATE SYMBOL! THIS IS WHAT WE FEARED FOR YEARS!

-This?... what 'this'?

-What's gonna happen Mr. Marsh?

-I fear this is the end, boys. This is the end of humanity!

-What!?

-Ok, dad. That's ridiculous, how not drawing enough dicks has something to do with the end of the world?

-Stan, you don't understa-

-Randy… we got the lectures… I-It's really happening.- A man said from the monitor of his computer. Randy seemed terrified and walked towards the desk with the boys still totally lost behind.

Everyone crowned around the computer looking at some kind of diagrams and numbers. Well, these guys were not that stupid at all if they were able to understand all that stuff. A specific graphic flashed in the middle of the screen showing a line going up and up along with the numbers at it's side.

-We are so fucked…-Randy said in a way too calm tone. His friends lose it.

-AHHHHHHHHH!

-WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!

-I DON'T WANNA GO LIKE THIS!.- Said one of them jumping out of the window, they weren't on a second level, yet the crystals stuck on his body will do the job well, even if it looked like a slow and painful death seemed like it was worth it for the guy.

-OH MY GOD! DID THAT GUY JUST KILLED HIMSELF!?

-DAD! WHAT'S HAPPENING!?

-Calm down, Stan! Don't panic! We still have a way out of this.

It was hard to tell since everyone in the office started to run around and taking their own life away. Some just swallow the hole medicine on the medical kit, all the pills they could find while others decided to use their ties to do the job hanging themselves from somewhere.

A guy had a gun on his desk, and after blow up his own head with a bang spreading himself all over the walls some others followed him until the gun was out of ammo.

The rest just ran to their vehicles and drive away crashing at high speed against trees or trespassing a dead end sign falling from a cliff.

In a fraction of seconds there were just three people alive standing in the middle of the office surrounded by blood and corpses.

-OH GOD! WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE!?

-THEY'RE ALL DEAD! WHY!?.- Cried Kyle loud.

-Kyle! Stan! You need to calm down! It's not time for panic OK!? STAY CALM!

-We are trying! But you are not helping, dad!

-Why did this happen!? What was that on the computer!?

Randy sit on the desk and tapping on the keyboard started to check the status on screen. Things were going bad.

-What does all those lines and numbers means?.- asked the jew.

-And what does this have to do to Earth and dicks and the apocalypse?.

-Listen boys, the Earth is not what you learned on school. It's not a huge mass of chemical elements and cosmic powder that has evolved for million of years on a massive almost spherical piece that developed a crust with the perfect conditions to allow the existence of life going around the sun and floating around in the Galaxy with another billion of stars and planets traveling across the universe. No, Earth is a living being.

-I've hear of that but I don't think it's literally, Mr. Marsh.

-It is, the japanese made it easier to understanding not much long ago, they called it 'Earth-chan'.- Said Randy showing a picture of this girl with some weird blue-green hair and a Nasa shirt.- Now Earth-chan as any other living being has some needs.

-Dad, that's stupid. When have you seen Earth eat or drink something?

-Oh yeah? Want proof? Any time the ground cracks thanks to an earthquake where does all that stuff goes? Have you ever heard of 'swallowed by the Earth'? You think that was just a saying? NO! It's fucking real Stan! All the mysterious disappearing of anything, people, planes, boats. It's Earth-chan. Water? There is a lot on the surface and we have no fucking idea what's going under the sea at all. Rivers getting dry and icebergs melting by global warming is just a Myth, were does all that water goes? Earth-chan!

-But aren't those just natural phenomenons?- asked Stanley.

-That's how we call Earth-chan's metabolism. That's how she works.

-But, what does this have to do with the dick stuff and the end of the world?.- Kyle questioned still confused.

-I can't explain everything myself. We need to go inform this immediately and get help.

-From who, dad?.

-The expert…

.

.

.

The sun was already setting on South Park, the sky seemed beautiful with a bright mix of oranges and pinks blending with the already black sky in the opposite skyline. Craig looked at the show in silence from his window. He was designing a plan and such pretty sky was a nice element to include on it. He wondered how his angelical boyfriend would look under such scenario and how the colors would mix with his pretty green eyes and blonde hair, it was gonna be perfect.

However his thoughts were interrupted by a familiar song. He looked down at his pone in annoyance, he liked to customize his contacts on his phone with four songs: one for family, one for annoying people, one for 'meh' people and one exclusive for Tweek. The song playing now indicated it was an annoying one calling and once he read the name "dumb-ass" on the screen over a picture of Clyde the cringe was real.

-What the hell do you want?

-Dude! Didn't you hear!?

-Hear what? It's impossible to hear something right now with your stupid voice screa-

-Somebody tried to assault the Tweak's coffee shop!

-W-WHAT!?

-Dude! Do you really not know anything!? I called thinking you knew where Tweek was!

-W-WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN!?

-His parents can't find him! We believed he was with you, Craig! Craig?... CRAIG! You still there!?

Of course he wasn't! How could he just stand there knowing somebody just broke into the coffee shop and even worst, knowing Tweek was lost!

For Craig running was always been pointless and just demanded too much energy. He was not gonna give two shits to put some effort doing something he didn't want. Yet he was running like never before as fast as he could not paying any attention to the pain growing on his side by his heavy breathing, he had to go as fast as he could not thinking on anything else but reach the coffee shop at the other side of the town, too bad he totally pushed aside his rational part of taking his bike with him too.

Once at the coffee shop he stopped to analyze everything that was happening right in front of him, he was exhausted and out of breath, his lungs were burning trying to recover the lost oxygen forcing him to pant with a loud sound. The police totally surrounded the building along with tons of curious people. The crystal door was shattered and there were pieces all over the inside and outside, the yellow line was all across the front from window to window.

With a more regulated respiration, Craig started to look for familiar faces near the coffee shop, making his way to the front pushing everyone out of is way. Once there he spotted Tweek's parents, they were talking to the police giving details of the people involved, they seemed ok. Nobody was hurt, the only trace of tragedy on them were some water drops in the corners of Mrs. Tweak's eyes, yet her stoic face prevailed.

-Craig! Over here!.- A familiar voice called.

-Clyde! Token! What the fuck happened here!?

-Clyde just told you, somebody assaulted the coffee shop.

-Or tried actually.

-What do you mean by 'tried'!? THE FUCKING DOOR IS EVERYWHERE, CLYDE!

-Yeah, but they didn't take anything.- Clyde explained.

-What?

-He is right. Whoever did this didn't take money or anything at all. The Tweaks are ok too.

-What the fuck do you mean!? Tweek is lost! He helped at the coffee shop today! He told me!

-We know, but he disappeared before the assault.

-What!? How do you know!?.

-Clyde and I arrived not much before it happened, Mr. Tweak asked us if we have seen Tweek while ordering, seems like he was there a second ago and then just vanished away.

-We said we had no idea where he was while giving us our order, we left and we didn't even passed the movie theater when we heard the door being shattered.

-Did you see who did this?

-Not really, dude. We just saw a few silhouettes. But one thing is sure, we didn't see them taking Tweek with them.- Token added.

-Yeah, I mean, if anyone tries to kidnap Tweek he'll just scream his lungs out asking for help. We'll know in a second.

Clyde was right. Tweek was loud enough for noting, imagine his desperate cry for help being kidnapped for real was something nobody would just ignore, it wasn't a detail you could easily pass over and not remember. Heck that kid had some high quality lungs and a strong throat.

But if nobody kidnapped Tweek and his parents had no idea what happened to him, where was he?

-We already looked for him on many places.- Token explained calmly.- Nothing at the movie theater, nobody saw him on town, Clyde called you to check if he was with you while I looked for him near Stark's Pond but none had any luck.

Lots of scenarios with terrible endings crossed Craig's mind, maybe he was spending too much time with Tweek now. He focused on the logic ones, but there were almost none compared to the bad ones, his heart hurt at the thought his so loved boyfriend's body might be abandoned on an ally or next to a path in the forest.

He wasn't like this, he always used to stay calm and think straight on these situations, but this was different. This was Tweek, the only person he give all and every single last of his fucks about. He didn't know what to do.

Feeling so powerless and impotent in that moment like he never fell before, he wrapped himself on his own pressing his nails over his arms trying desperately to calm himself. His rational brain was totally blocked and the rage and despair drilled his deep blue eyes allowing tiny pools of water to start growing giving birth to two tiny rivers flowing down his face.

The school? Why would Tweek go at the school that late? It was closed anyways. The church was not an option, the community center or any other places didn't make any sense, the only ones has been cleaned already without a clue of the blonde anywhere.

But Craig's breakdown got abruptly paused by a stare. A penetrating yet soft and… scared stare on him? He turned around to find the origin of the weird feeling facing a woman staring directly at him with her hands holding her chest. A stoic yet worried face with traces of tears on her cheeks, it was like looking at a mirror except for the red lipstick she was wearing.

With the boy's attention on her, Mrs. Tweak made a quiet pledge to him with her hands extending her palms against each other from her chest to her lower lip. Craig couldn't understand at all. Noticing the confusion on the kid's face, she finally rested a hand on her side and rested her other hand on her apron's pocket. Craig immediately ran away in the direction he came from, but he wasn't going home.

There was one place left! But how did Tweek made it there without being spotted? It was impossible! He had to pass the movie theater and cross the whole city, somebody might had spotted him but none did. Was here actually there?... He had to be.


	6. Chapter 6: the beginning of the end

**Chapter 6: The beginning of the end.**

* * *

 _Hey! sorry I didn't update last Sunday. I've been busy at work and had no time at all to write. Hopefully I'll go back to update one chapter per week, if I don't... well, you know what happened...  
_

* * *

With everyone crowning around the shop the rest of South Park remained absolutely quiet except for the steps that echoed all the way to the main neighborhood coming from maybe the only person not interested in what was going on there.

Craig leaded his way to a familiar house. A house some years ago was just another building on the street, one he never thought will end being one of his favorite places, it was still an awkward place but it was filled with such joyful memories he couldn't help but forgive the heavy atmosphere he used to feel there and just focus on the good.

Once at the porch, he took a minute to catch his breath. It was weird, this was supposed to be the first place to look for, yet none did... or did they?. People just assumed the parents check it out while the rest focused looking around other places to cover much more in less time. The more Craig thought about it the less sense it made. How could they forget about it? How could Tweek manage to go there and not being seen? If he actually was inside, of course.

He was. He had to. Craig got this strong feeling, Mrs. Tweak somehow confirmed it or at least that's what he understood. Why would she remain quiet if he was actually there? Was she trying to hide him from everyone? Why?

The raven approached the door and placed his hand on the knob. It was weird, it's been a cold cloudy day yet the metal didn't feel cold at all, there was a warm trace on it someone has touched it before him not long ago. He turned it… locked.

His left hand hesitated a second, but soon enough got into his pocket exploring inside the fabric until feeling a cold metal object on his fingers. He hold the key and then proceeded to insert it in the lock, the sound of a click snapped and the door opened.

Craig stood there for a second before walk inside, while crossing the door frame he spotted some tiny crystals on the porch's floor yet the inside's carpet was totally clear. He closed the door behind him and took a look around. It was dead quiet.

-Tweek?.- His nasal voice crossed the empty house's walls.- Tweek, honey! Are you here?.- He shout this time and got no answer.

He walked to the stairs in direction to the blonde's room. It was the safest place in the house, at least for his maniac boyfriend. Once at the door he knocked three times only for more silence to greet him. He turned the knob… was this one locked too? Why? Why would a room be locked with someone inside by the outside? He was there.

Craig hold the key on his hand once again, he gulped a little too loud hoping this key would work on this door too. He hold his breath while inserting it in the knob and started to breath again after hearing a click for a second time.

The door opened and he stepped right into the room turning on the light, it was a mess like always but there was no sign of any messy haired blonde around. He walked in silence around the room looking for a clue his steps resounding in the wooden floor. Then he heard it.

It wasn't a voice, much less words. If he could described it, it would be like an "air jumping" sound muffled behind the white closet doors. He turned on his heels walking to that direction and stopped right in front of the solid wood.

He noticed how the little crack at the door's bottom allowed his shadow to sneak inside the closed space, forcing a louder "air jumping" sound. If you could hear someone's shaking that's how it would sounds like. What if this door is closed too? what if it was locked at the inside?... he needed an idea quick.

Meanwhile at the other side of the same doors a blonde boy was at the edge of a heart attack. He could hear the lock of his room being violated, and some heavy steps followed by the light of his room's light bulb. Somebody was on his room to kill him! The horrible idea just made it worst, he started to twitch and shake shouting himself with his hands on his mouth to prevent any sounds to be heard by the murderer yet… it didn't work.

A shadow snicked inside the closet throw the door crack at the bottom side. THE MAD MAN WAS RIGHT AT THE OTHER SIDE! He was done, tears started to form at the corner of his eyes. His early thoughts about die happy with no regrets haunted him. He still had one regret… AND HE DIDN'T WANTED TO BE MURDERED!

The tension raised at the silence grow.

-OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, KID!

-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! .- The silence was dead, just like Tweek might be anytime now.

-My name is "your future murderer" I came here to kidnap you and rape you to death. Would you like to be disposed on the pond or the forest?

-NGH- AHHHHH! I DON'T WANNA BE RAPED AND DISPOSED! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T KILL ME! I DON'T WANNA DIE YET!

-Nobody wants to…

-Uh?...

-But I'm gonna do it anyways! Open and I swear you won't even feel it.

-OH GOD! NO! NO! NO! NO! .- Tweek panicked pushing the door. -PLEASE! I-I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET! NOT WITHOUT FINALLY KISSING MY BOYFRIEND! AT LEAST LET ME DO THAT FIRST!

-….- silence.

-Ehmm… Mr. Kidnapper rapist murderer? You there?

-Tweek, it's me.

-I-I KNOW IS YOU! PLEASE COME BACK TO KILL ME SOME OTHER TIME!

-No, Tweek. It's me, babe. Craig.

-Craig?

-Can you open the door, please?

Some other dose of silence filled the air, the blonde hesitated but finally gave in and opening the door revealing a familiar face with deep blue eyes staring blank at him. Tweek stood there appreciating his features, his pale and soft skin with some little pink shades revealing the boy's healthy condition, piercing blue eyes like the deep ocean blue and some messy yet charming black hair decorated with a blue chulo. Indeed, it was Craig, Craig Tucker, his so loved boyfriend! Who always was there for him, to support him and… to almost give him a heart attack some seconds ago…

-OUCH! What the- .- The noirette placed a hand on his cheek after a shaky fist connected with his skin.

-YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU DESERVE THAT AND MUCH MORE!

-I guess… .- Craig sighed.- you are right… I'm sorry, Tweek. I just couldn't help it back there…

-YOU ALMOST KILLED ME! You even asked me how I'd like to be disposed!

-I thought you'll catch I was being sarcastic and realize it was me when I said that.

-IT WAS TOO REAL!

-Too real? What kind of murderer introduces himself as "your future murderer"?

-NGH- I-I DUNNO! Don't you EVER do that again!

-Ok, fine.- the raven haired boy said while rubbing his cheek. Yup. Tweek was not someone to fuck with either.- What are you doing here anyways?

-That's what I was gonna ask you first! The house is locked! How did you made it!?

-Wait… you knew it was locked?

-Yeah. My mom locked me in here not much ago.- Tweek said looking a little too worried about the last part.

-Wait, what!? Why would your OWN mother lock you up here?

-She has been acting weird lately, this evening she told me to come back home and hide here.

-None sense! The whole damn town has been looking for you but none got a sight of you walking around! Not on the main Street or the town, how the fuck did you made it here?

-Well…- the twitchy blonde hesitated.- That's why I told you see has been acting weird, she asked me to leave throw the roof.

-The roof? How?.- The whole thing was extremely suspicious. Why leave without being seen? Why throw the roof? How did Tweek survived that? Everything sounded like a mystery right now.

-W-Well, t-there is this thing on the storage room at the coffee shop. Y-you can climb it and lead to the roof! But I-I'd never do that! Yet… she seemed really worried and… s-she sounded all serious. So I did.

-So… that explained why nobody saw you leaving the coffee shop, but made it through here?

-Sh-she also told me to took the alley throw Sodosopa. I-I DIDN'T WANTED TO! TOO MUCH HOMELESS PEOPLE! THEY WERE ALL DRUNK AND LAYING AROUND IN THE FLOOR, MAN! BUT I HAD TO! I reached Kenny's house and then just walked throw the backyards hiding from everyone.

-Why?

-I dunno, dude. But she seemed really worried, a-also, she took my phone and t-told me I wouldn't get it back if I refused to do it! After a while she came back and told me she was gonna lock everything to keep me safe.

-Well, no offense Tweek, but your mom is such a weirdo.

-Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom! She is nice!

-I know.- said Craig taking Tweek's hands joining him inside the closet.

-W-What are you doing?

-Well, she most have a reason. I actually think I know what it is so you'll stay here until she comes back and I'll stay with you.

Tweek nodded and sat next to Craig laying his head on the raven's shoulder. Even through he wasn't much of a cuddle person, he was growing enjoying Craig's affection and touch. The noirette just put an arm round him closing any tiny gap between them.

-How long do you think you have to wait?

-No idea… b-but I don't mind waiting with you h-here.- The blonde said giving him a shy smile, it was the most precious smile. Sincere and pure, specially coming from such little venomous snake he was aware his boyfriend was.

Craig could feel it, and he was sure Tweek noticed it too. Both of them together inside of the closet comforting each other locking their eyes, even when Craig made a plan, this situation wasn't that bad, it actually felt natural and organic.

The blonde looked at him in expectation and hesitating, wanting to do the first move but too afraid to do it, a little shiver ran throw his spine and forced him to start shaking.

Craig looked at him, and cupped his face on his hands. It was such a fantastic view. The blonde's skin was pale, yet soft. The noirette's fingers traveled around finding Tweek's lips, they were dry and cracked also covered on marks of all the times he panicked and bit his low lip hard enough to made himself bleed. One of his hands stayed there stroking his bottom lip while the other one traced the black silhouettes under his eyes.

Tweek tensed from both, the contact and how close Craig's face was to his own. His anxiety was on top, yet he couldn't help but melt under the raven's gentle touch. His body had no idea what to do anymore, his system was always so confused in moments like this with Craig. His brain was on full panic mode by all the things that might happen, all the things that could get wrong and how Craig would hate him forever and leave him if he made a mistake, while his heart was trying to calm him down telling him to relax and just enjoy the feeling letting himself drawn in Craig's arms.

The battle inside him to get control of his body was intense: relax or panic? Joy or fear? A mix of both every half second increased the intensity of his twitching, even a little worst that on one of his regular panic attacks. He wasn't like this next to Craig, the raven's presence used to instantly calm him down but now he was the cause.

-T-TOO MUCH PRE-

-Shhhh~ Relax.

Craig's voice echoed inside Tweek's head stroking his ears like a fine piece of velvet fabric. Their eyes met looking deep into each other, somehow both could swear how their eye color reflected on each other's turning Craig's eyes green and Tweek's huge eyes a little blue. Both his brain and heart stopped working and fighting for a light second when it finally happened.

The raven leaded in and finally closed the gap between their faces gently greeting Tweek's lips with his own. The kiss was very simple and childish, none of them were experts after all, but it was enough for them. The taste of sour coffee mixed with a sweet essence. Even their lips tasted like the opposite.

Tweek's head screamed loud and his heart raced once he realized what was happening literally on his face. An extremely weird feeling he never got before began to grow inside him encouraging him to kiss Craig's lips back. The most the feeling expanded the most his fingers trembled and twitched looking for something to grab and tear off. They quickly found a perfect pray on Craig's back, scratching and pulling the fabric of his jacket with no mercy at all. Yet he didn't seemed to mind being too busy tasting Tweek's lips for the very first time.

Time stopped for both, seems like all the cheesy shit on the movies was actually true. Nothing matter anymore, just enjoying each other while their perception of the world around twitched and twisted around itself. What?

 _Pum!_

-WAAAAAAHH! WHAT WAS THAT!?.- the blonde cried.

-Ouch… that hurts.- Craig complained holding his head.

A tiny yet heavy box laying in the floor next to him seemed like the number one suspect of hitting Craig. It was Tweek's tiny "bank" where he used to keep all the coins he got and found around, just heavy coins.

-You ok, Craig?

-Yeah… the fuck was that?

-It's my coin box but… it's suppose to be in the stand right above. How did it fell?

-Dunno but, dude. You must have some good savings. It hurts a lot.

-I'm sorry,Craig. I swear I dunno ho-… -The blonde suddenly stopped talking. His eyes were looking at shock around them.

-…Tweek, baby. You ok?

-The stuff…

-What?

-There's stuff all over the floor.

Craig started to look around him. He was right. More boxes and even clothing was over the closet's floor, the most they looked trying to find an explanation the less sense it made.

-How…?

-I-I dunno! Unless my stuff can go t-trough walls and other stands… t-there is no way they could just "fall"! The closet is closed, you need to open the door to get the stuff above us!

.

.

.

-Dad! Where are we going?

-With the expert!

The Marsh's truck was running almost at top speed through the dirt road from the mountains to the forest, bumps and screams followed by bloody animals across the windows was the senses festival inside.

-Stan, dude! Your dad is gonna kill us!.- The jew cried afraid for his life.

-Dad! Please stop! You are gonna get us killed like those other dudes!

-Trust me, Stan! We need to get there as quick as possible! Don't worry son, I might not be "the expert" but I'm an expert at driv-

-LOOK OUT!.

A huge log laying in the middle of the way, even hitting the breaks they were not gonna stop at time, they were going to crash for sure. Yet Randy hit the breaks.

The world felt in slow motion, the two boys on the back were crying and screaming in terror while the adult driving used all his will to hit the breaks as far as he could waiting just to watch with an horrorized face how the log in front of them got closer every fraction of a second. He regretted so much as his life passed in front of his eyes, mostly embarrassing situations while being drunk.

The truck meet the log…

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.

.

And passed right across it like some kind of ghost vehicle. They didn't crash at all, Randy could swear looking how the whole world twitched for a second making the log disappear and the truck crossed in time.

The breaks eventually did their job stopping the truck not much far away. Randy immediately left and ran to the tick wood to inspect it. It was solid. He stood there with his thoughts until some voices stopped his trance.

-Dad! Dad what happened!?

-Are we dead?... Stan! Did we die!?

-Oh my god! Dad! Where are you!?

-Boys! Calm down! It's ok.

-How can this be ok! You almost kill us!

-H—How did we made it without crashing tho?- asked Kyle.

Randy lead them to the dead tree and kept touching it still not believing what his eyes just saw.

-S-Somehow we went across the solid wood.

-That's impossible! It's rock solid!

-It's ridiculous, Kyle. But we are still here. We somehow went through the thing.

-Come on! You can't be serious right now!

-Dude, I'm sure there is some explanation for this.

-T-there is… we need to get back to the truck right now!.- Randy stated taking the two boys in his arms and literally trowing them inside the car.

-Dad, what? what the hell!?

-Stan, listen! We need to keep going, this is only the beginning. We need to act first and prevent the approaching disaster.

-What disaster!?- The jew asked.

-Earth-chan… s-she… she is about to shit herself…

-… what?... – both boys asked at unison.

-You heard me! Earth-chan is about to crap her pants! And we need to stop her!

-Ok, I'm done with your dad… this is just stupid!

-Nah! It's not! It's true Kyle!.- Randy argued with the boy mostly yelling at him.

.IMPOSSILE Mr. Marsh! Earth is not a living thing at all! It doesn't eat at all so it doesn't have to crap some pants it's not even wearing!

-Ok, Mr. I-know-more-than-an-adult-who-has-worked-years-on-this-stuff. I'm gonna show you once we get there.

-Where? .- The black haired boy asked.

-Dr. Mephesto's Lab. If somebody knows about butts is him.

Stan was pinching his nose in annoyance, Kyle was right about his dad… meanwhile the jew had this tired expression. The face somebody wears when you can't take some people's words anymore.

-Mr. Marsh… Earth doesn't have a butt…

-You are right in that part Kyle. She has many… that's why we need him… If there's somebody who knows about multiple asses, is HIM!

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.

.

Far from there at a magenta house two boys were picking stuff from the ground and cleaning the spontaneous mess. While picking up stuff Craig noticed Tweek twitching, even when it's a usual sigh on him and his main characteristic he didn't used to do that when they were together.

-Are you ok?

-GAH! Yes! I-I am…

-You don't look like you do at all.

-I guess I just feel a little weird…

Craig's face fell. Somehow he related Tweek's behavior with the kiss. It was kinda his fault, he made things awkward and that was the last thing he wanted. His plan to get even closer to the blonde was backfiring.

-I'm sorry. We can forget about it if you want.

-F-Forget?

-Yeah… seems like it wasn't the right time at all. I fucked up.

-N-NO! .- Tweek threw away everything he was just holding, clothes, boxes, toys, everything fly across the room and crashed into the wall as he ran to Craig's side taking him on his arms by the raven's surprise.- I-I WANTED IT! I was looking for it so much! I-It's just… I still can't believe it just happened.

The noirette just stared at him. He was so damn cute. And knowing how much he wanted it and maybe just like him even dreamed about it made his cheeks turn a little pink. The blonde noticed his embarrassment forcing him to blush crimson red.

-Wanna do it again?.- Craig suggested.

-Y-Yes! After all… right now y-you look so cute I just want to kiss you!

-Shut up! It's not funny! .- Craig argued trying to hide his face with his hat pulling the strings down totally hiding his black hair in the process.

-You can't do shit, bro! I'll say anything I want! Including how you look like a tomato right now!

-Oh! You are gonna get it now!

-Try me, though boy! .-Tweek smirked at Craig's.

Get the black haired boy in this situations was unusual. The only few times he could make fun of him like this was whenever his mom forced him to kiss her before school right in front of him or even better when she used to kiss him 'goodbye' leaving her red lipstick on Craig's cheek or forehead. He loved teasing the 'emotionless not afraid of nothing' Craig Tucker.

However there was never any fight or hurtful insults, just talking back followed by giggling and some playful wrecking and this time was not the exception. Between giggles and a "stregth fight" Tweek ended up in the floor with Craig at top of him.

-You ready to shut up?

-Nope! What you gonna do about it?~

-Make you shut up.

Their eyes locked again deeply staring at each other's. Craig leaned down and met Tweek's lips again in the same gentle way he did some minutes ago. The taste of coffee stayed strong, even when he didn't actually like it he could feel how slowly he was turning into a coffee addict too without the need to even drink it.

Craig pulled back and looked down at Tweek who was trembling like crazy yet seemed so enamored Craig didn't mind his extreme tic at all. His mind returned to his surroundings when he noticed a tiny light spreading across the whole room for half a second. A flash.

Looking at the window both stared at some known orange annoyance. Even through the clothing they could totally tell he has this uncomfortable mischievous smirk plasted on his face while waving his hand at them.

-OH GOD! HE SAW US! THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

-KENNY! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Kenny happily jumped down the branch he was on and made his way down using the tree right outside the house. That day he sold the earlier picture to the asian girls. Thanks to Cartman who got sixty for a picture of them where nothing actually happened, he could rise the price and got one hundred for himself. Since the girls were kinda broken right now he'd had to wait and keep his most recent picture safe until get a nice price. If Craig didn't kill him first.

He ran down the road and hide on some near bushes. If Craig was planning to chase him it was better just hide than be spotted at the distance thanks to the subtle color on his clothes.

He sit and waited for a while making sure he was safe before leaving. Once the time passed he took his phone just to drop it on the floor while holding it. In just and instant he could saw his hand splitting apart on different ways dropping the device.

-mhhht hhm?

Some steps getting close stopped him from stand up. But it wasn't Craig, unless Tweek was with him and somehow they invited somebody else. There were three pairs of footsteps coming closer from a strangers trio dressed in black carrying heavy guns. They eventually stopped at the house Kenny just ran away from.

-But we already checked it out!

-The door was locked! You didn't get inside.

-Well, excuse me. But my parents taught me not to break into other's houses.

-That's your job, stupid!

-Oh…

-You two stop! We need to find that kid right now!.- The third member interrupted.

-Why do we exactly need him again, Captain?.

-Listen, the orders are get inside, and get the blonde kid. No questions about. We were supposed to take him from the shop but the father said he had no idea where he went. The whole town is looking for him, we need to move quick before somebody else finds him.

-Look! One of the lights in on. He must be inside that room.- On of the other two pointed out.

-Ehmm.. Captain? .- the one left raised his hand.- What about the other boy? We are behind this homosexual blonde kid. But the reports said there's always another kid with him.

-It's easy, you idiot!.- he whispered-yelled loud enough to be heard by his partners and Kenny.- We take the gay blonde child and blast the head out of anyone else! No witnesses, remember? This is some top secret shit.

-Oh yeah… I forgot we get paid to kill people too.

-You do, idiot. But remember! Don't even hurt the blonde kid. We need him alive and harmless, that was the deal.

-Why can't we just knock him out and drag him with us?

-Because we ain't spend and wait ten years on this kid's head to fuck it up! Just do what I said!

The mysterious trio clicked their guns ready while Kenny touched his phone screen and waited impatient for Tweek to answer at the other side of the line.


	7. Chapter 7: The many asses of Earth

**Chapter 07: The many asses of Earth.**

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 _Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who has been following this story! I didn't want to give any of the random mysterious a name. But at some point I had to to make the interactions easier to read. And actually just pop in my mind and I liked the thing. So yeah~ **  
**_

* * *

A creepy mountain at the distance flashed by right-timing lighting somehow that was the place where somebody who knew about many asses on one single being could help them understanding what was going on.

Dr. Mephesto's lab used to give the chills to everyone and this time was not the exception, the worst part was the fact that his weird obsession may make sense and actually be useful this time… or at least that's what the boys at the back sit of Randy's truck thought while approaching their destination.

The truck stopped at the entrance where Randy pressed a red button.

-Doctor, please! Open up! Is Randy Marsh! The ancient prophecy it's happening! .- static noise followed by silence drew a worried expression on Randy's face.

-Maybe he is not home, Mr. Marsh.

-I still don't know why are we he-

The loud sound of a heavy creaking metal door opening cut Stan on his words. Once it opened Randy hurried inside Mephesto's glorious garden as a tribute to dead nature with yellow-brown Grass on some spots. Dirt almost everywhere else covered in snow, some dead trees with no sign of a leave on their branches since years ago and huge tombstone looking rocks placed around for "some" reason?

Once at the main entrance of the building the thick wooden door quick open revealing an old man with some hawaiian yellow shirt and a brown hat.

-Took you long enough, huh?

-I-I'm sorry! Everything went just crazy! The rest of the guys are dead.

-What!? Who killed them!?

-Sir. They actually killed themselves.

-Oh my gosh… those lucky bastards…

-What!? How is that good!? They fucking killed themselves right in front of us! I'll need therapy to forget all this!

-Don't be a pussy Kyle, you've seen worst.- Stan stated.

-Enough, kids! We don't have time to discuss how much of a pussy this kid is… we all agree he is a huge pussy so let's move on.

-Seriously!?.- the jew cried.

Once inside the first thing they noticed was a crimson red around everything and some more bodies on white coats resting on the floor.

-W-WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?

-The same that you three sight at Randy's.

-D-DID THEY ALL KILL THEMSELVES TOO!?

-What? No. They're just dead. Some people broke in and shoot the all.

-Jesus! How did you survived Alph?.- Randy asked.

-I was taking a dump and one of the persons kindly asked if it was occupied. Now… talking about taking a shit…

-I know. The zig-zag machine drew a dick and… on our way we survived an impossible crash totally harmless…- The raven adult explained.

-Oh Randy… I'm disappointed of you. – Mephesto placed one of his hands on Randy's shoulder,the youngest man looked down in shame.- YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB, RANDY!

-I KNOW! BUT DRAW ALL THOSE DICKS IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

-Ehmm… Mr. Dr. Mephesto. What's the deal with all this dick and Earth-chan stuff?

-Yeah, Stan's dad has just been screaming around not explaining anything to us.

-Well….- the mad scientist walked to a little table with a computer and a projector.-… take a sit kids. This might be shocking news for you.

Mephesto turned off the lights and after typing on the touchscreen keyboard the projector started working showing a picture of Earth.

-So, Earth is not what you think it is, it's actually a living being! And like any-

-Yeah-yeah! Eats, drinks and it's gonna shit her non-existent pants for some stupid reason related to not drawing enough dicks around the world.- The jew explained already tired of all the confusion around. He wanted some answers right now.

-Oh… then that's everything! Randy just told you the whole thing, what else do you want?

-Ehmm… the part where everything makes sense?.- Stan asked.- Like… why is Earth-chan about to shit herself right now? She ain't do before, so why now?

-She ain-… well, you are more ignorant than I thought. In the past, Earth-chan has crapped herself many times.

-So, if she has done it before what's the big deal then!?.- asked Kyle.

-Well everytime she does there's like an extinction on different scales or something.

-JESUS CHRIST! Dude! Why does she do that!?

-Earth-chan is a living being boys, if she eats… she needs to crap. And everytime she does it's bad news for us.- Mephesto starts clicking on a remote changing pictures from different natural disasters and people running away from them.- Hurricanes are Earth-chan's way to refresh herself… it's her sweat. Earthquakes is Earth-chan's skin growing or itching, she has to scratch too you know. Every single natural phenomenal has a reason and that lead us to the main one we are all here…

Another click and the picture changed to an erupting volcano showing the lava exploding right into the air and many people running, screaming and burning alive.

-Volcanoes?... W-What does volcanoes have to do?.- Stan asked.

-A volcano is nothing but a whole that splits Earth-chan's insides into the surface.

-I-In other words… -Kyle tried to figure it out. It was way too stupid to be real.

-A volcano is one of Earth-chan's assholes.- Randy finished.

-Dad… you can't be serious, right?

-He is, boy.- Mephesto clarified.- Earth-chan is such a lady boys, instead of just shitting all over herself like she did on early days, she created many tiny assholes that helps her release tiny bits of her insides to help the pressure.- He explains while clicking the remote changing for pictures of different volcanoes around the world including a picture of Mr. President Garrison at the end with capital letters above the whole thing quoting "The assholes on Earth".- It's like when you fart softly many times to not shit yourself until you made it to the toilet.

-WAIT! So Earth-chan does actually have many asses? YOU DIDN'T MADE THEM WITH YOUR SCIENCE, RIGHT!?- Kyle questioned pointing out the old man.

-Actually, all my work has been inspired by her. If Earth can have that many asses, why can't other living things have too. The many asses of Earth-chan keep us alive so maybe someday it might do good on the living ones. That's what I believe.

-This… This is stupid… This is way too stupid I can't believe it!

-Kyle, chill dude.

-No! I mean… kinda makes some kind of sense… but what's the deal with crapping herself now!?

-You see young man, Earth-chan has many asses yet she has her original asshole that's the main problem right now. She has contained all this shitty magma inside for a while but every certain period of time she has to release it all free. Since humans live with her and watch every single thing she does is embarrassing for her, she tries to hold it longer. You don't want to crap yourself in front of millions of people, right?. But it's gonna explode sooner and later and seems like it's about to do it now, she can't hold it back anymore.

-Dr. Mephesto, where is Earth-chan's original ass?- Stan asked.

The mad man clicked the remote once again showing a map of the USA.

-We are the main ass on Earth, our country is literally her butt as you can see. Many other countries has been pointing it out since a long ago, I dunno how they got that information actually... But it's true, and the main asshole… it's right here.

A last click showed a zone colored on red. It was quite familiar, it's been in the news a few times after all, but it couldn't be! Or could it?

-Is that…

-No way! Dad, please tell me your making this up…

The boys somehow seemed afraid now, all this nonsense, somehow made even more sense along with the picture right in front of their eyes.

-Earth-chan's original asshole is here.- Randy pointed out in the map.- Right in Yellowstone…

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At the Tweak's residence, Craig was comforting a panicking Tweek, hugging him and telling him everything was going to be fine while planning how to kill Kenny next time he saw him.

Tweek was shaking violently clamming how embarrassed he'll be if anyone sees that picture what quickly escalated to be the trigger of world war three and some nuclear fire with almost not survivors and just radioactive mutants living on Earth.

The panic attack continued with harsh ticks way stronger than usual, Craig had to blink a few times to clean his eyes since he seemed to see the whole world glitching for a fraction of a second. Maybe the blonde's shaking somehow was messing with his head or just his visual.

-OH GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

-Tweek, sweetheart. Listen to me.

-GAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DON'T WANNA BE A RADIOACTIVE MUTANT! IF I GLOW IN THE DARK I'LL NEVER GET RIDE OF THE GNOMES!

-Calm down, you won't glow in the dark.

-WHAT IF IT AFFECTS THE GNOMES TOO!? WHAT IF INSTEAD OF UNDERPANTS THEY START TO STEAL SOCKS!? AND THEN ORGANS! OH GOD!

-Tweek, the fact that some socks randomly disappear doesn't mean the gnomes are evolving or-

-JESUS! CRAIG! IT'S HAPPENING! THEY'RE STEALING SOCKS TOO! SOON THEY'LL COME TO GET ME AND STEAL MY KIDNEYS AND DRINK MY BLOOD!

-Tweek! Stop!

The noirette hold the twitchy kid's face between his hands and got him closer to himself staring deep into his eyes with a calm and serene stare. Those eyes always made the trick, being the windows to Craig's soul, reflected and spread a care free and confident attitude making Tweek feel safe, calm and relaxed just like looking at a calm and beautiful sea on a perfect day. The twitching stayed strong but at least he was quiet now biting his lower lip to control his nerves.

-These Gnomes ARE NOT REAL.

-B-BUT THEY-

-Shhh~ they are not real, they can't evolve and they can't hurt you.

-B-But what about the war!?

-Tweek, I know you feel scared. But freak out won't help you on anything. Trust me, everything is gonna be fine.

-H-How are you so sure!?

-Have I ever lie to you? Is there a time I said that and things didn't end up being ok?

-Well… ngh-no… you are always right…

-See?.- The raven released his boyfriend's cute face and took both of his hands giving a little more room between their faces.- Everything will be fine, nobody will come to get you, and nobody is gonna die.

-FREEZE BLONDE GAY BOY! WE COME HERE TO GET YOU! AND EVERYONE ELSE IS GONNA DIE!

-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! CRAIG! YOU LIAR!

The suspicious trio entered the room kicking the door open smashing it against Tweek's bed. Pieces of wood flying all over the room while the two boys stared at horror. Who were these guys!?

-WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?.- Craig asked in panic.

-It doesn't matter!.- The Captain said.- You are not blonde, so you are gonna die here. Good bye, boy.

-W-WHAT!? NO WAIT!

-NOO! DON'T KILL HIM!

The trio's Captain aimed his heavy gun to Craig and got his finger on the trigger, there were no place to run and his target was a little boy. Piece of cake!

-Captain! WAIT UP! HE MIGHT BE BLONDE TOO!

-What?.- The leader put down his gun giving the raven haired boy a chance to breath. How could he be a blonde too? And why was that so important?.- The fuck do you mean he can be a blonde too!?

-Well, he is wearing a hat. We can't see his hair at all. What if he is a blonde too?

-Why does it matter? As long as we have the blonde gay one we don't need another blonde.

-But why if HE is the blonde gay kid and you shot him by accident thinking the other blonde is the gay blonde one but is actually a straight blonde?

-… Goddammit! Ok! Who here is an homosexual!?

The kids look at each other for a second, they weren't sure what all this was about but somehow keep Craig's hair hide was their priority right now to keep them confuse and not shot anyone. Craig was so thankful his boyfriend teased him just some minutes ago forcing him to pull his hat covering all of his hair in the process.

-SO!? I won't repeat again! Who here is an homosexual!?

Both boys raised their hands, it was true after all! They weren't lying on that part. The Captain gave them a confuse look, what turned into some kind of horrorized one once he realized one of his two men raised his hand too behind him.

-Dude… What the fuck!? We share the same showers!

-I-I know Captain… I'm sorry.

-Bro…- said the other one.- You ain't look at us are you?..

-… look doesn't hurt anyone, right?

-Ok! This just turned weird! We didn't have to know this! We just wanted to know which of them were gay! But seems like they both are.

-Captain, what if both are gay AND blonde? Which one would we take with us?

-GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! CAN YOU STOP IT!? We could be in our way leaving a tiny corpse behind if it weren't for your questions!

-I-I'm sorry… I just look around to the possible obstacles that might get in our way to get to our precious job done.

Suddenly all the people present stared at the guy, the silence made him uncomfortable until a fist connected with his arm almost sending him taste the dirt.

-YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANTED TO BREAK A DOOR AND YOU ARE FANTASIZING ON GET THE JOB DONE!? SERIOUSLY!?.- The leader yelled.

-Wait! You broke the main door too!? .- Craig joined the conversation somehow concerned and somehow impressed by how stupid these guys were.

-Yeah! We kick it open just like this one!.- the one who just claimed yo be gay some seconds ago said.

-Dude… I forgot to lock them behind me… you could just open them normal.

-Oh… - the trio said. One of them, the one who has been actually saving them while questioning everything, got near the broken door resting on the bed and turned the knob.

-Hey! This kid was right! It wasn't locked at all!

-So… we could just open them instead of almost break my legs…- the other one said.

-I just… can we just… agh…- the leader pinched his nose, such simple mission turned into a complicated mess, he wasn't going to deal with this anymore.- Ok, kid… can you just remove your hat so we can take both of you or shot you once for all?

-No.

-Kid! I'm not asking you!

-You used " can you", that pretty much sounds like a question to me.

\- Ok, let me rephrase that then. TAKE YOUR FUCKING HAT OFF!

-N-No!

-Then you are not blonde at all, if you were you'd do it quick to make us take you with us.

-You are literally asking me if I rather get killed or kidnapped! I want none!

-The kid kinda makes sense, cap-

-SHUT UP, DAVE! I GOT ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT! NOW TAKE THAT STUPID HAT OFF HIM!

-Ok, boss.

The now known as Dave approached Craig who was holding his chulo hat on his head like his life depended on it, because his life literally depended on it. Tweek joined him standing between him and the adult putting his hands on Craig's head to block Dave.

-NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU JERK!

-Oh right kid, move out of the way.

-NO! DON'T TOUCH MY CRAIG! GET AWAY OF HIM!

Dave struggled with Tweek, the twitchy kid was hard to take away. The most he tried to push him or pull him away the more obstinate and forceful the kid turned to protect the other one. He totally was stronger than he looks like.

-Kid, please! I'm just doing my job here. This will just take a sec-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Dave was the nicer one, yet fuck Dave. That might be what Tweek thought before biting the guy as hard as he could making him squeak and wave his arm around with a pretty determinate Tweek holding tight and not letting go.

-GET HIM OUT OFF ME! GET HIM OUT OFF ME! AAAAAGH!

Dave knew he was not allowed to hurt the "gay blonde kid" but as long as he didn't cause much damage it was ok to use a little force. He placed his foot on Tweek's face and pushed him. With one single move Tweek finally gave up and let the man go while falling on the floor.

-Oh my gosh! Tweek!.- Craig hurried to his side and helped him to stand up.

-Let's get out of here, Craig!

Using the confusion in the room they just caused as distraction the boys sneaked throw the two first hitmen but they didn't got lucky enough with the leader as he picked Craig's hat and pulled it out of his head with a single move revealing his shiny black hair.

-I KNEW YOU WEREN'T BLONDE!

The man quickly aimed his heavy gun on Craig's direction. It was a point-blank shot, the target was impossible to miss and even if failing to shot directly at his head any bullet at such close distance was enough to kill the kid.

Everything turned into slow motion as Craig's eyes met the gun's cannon looking directly at him, he still could hear Dave's screams in the background mixed with Tweek's calls for help. He could even see his beloved boyfriend on the corner of his eye. His gaze turned to the messy blonde, if this was it. He wanted to see Tweek one last time.

Yet… he regretted his decision once he saw him. He was extending his hand to him trying to reach him and get him out of the way but even in the slow motion he could detected that the finger on the trigger was moving way faster than his tiny hand. His beautiful green eyes were screaming in terror and heavy tears were running all over his face. It was a sad last sight.

Time started moving again and Craig could hear the click on the gun, he could even meet his murderer face to face, being able to watch the bullet coming out the gun on a mere fraction of a second. The bang echoed all over the quiet house…

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Everyone remained quiet and not moving a single muscle, all jaws dropped and wide eyes on every skull while appreciating a huge hole in the floor were the bullet crashed right behind Craig's head. Yet, there was no damage on the black haired kid who was sitting in the floor in shock still using his hands to cover himself like if that would help.

He saw it again, this time he was sure something was up. The stuff falling going through solid levels on a closet, the second time he kissed Tweek, Tweek's early panic attack and now… he could swear all those times he somehow saw the whole world around him twisting and spasm like some kind of glitch on a movie or a video game and somehow it saved his life this time.

-H-How…? His brains were supposed to be spread around everywhere…!

-CRAIG, RUN!- The blonde spotted his chance to reach his boyfriend, he pulled him up and pushed him throw the hall, they had to get out of there!

-OH NO! YOU AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE! .- The leader said while taking Tweek's hand.

-OH GOD! KEEP RUNNING, CRAIG! GET AWAY FROM HERE! GAH! GET HELP!

-SHUT UP! You are lucky we have orders not to hurt you, you little jerk!

-LET ME GO! DON'T HURT CRAIG! HE IS MY BOYFRIEND!

-I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! HE KNOWS TOO MUCH! DAVE! THE OTHER GUY!

-Actually my name is-

-I DON'T CARE WHICH BABY NAME IN THE BOOK WON! KILL THAT LITTLE PRICK BEFORE HE CAN ESCAPE!

Craig ran downstairs looking for the main door. It was now at the floor of the living room but at least that meant he had a free run to the outside. A bullet too close crossed in front of him hitting the ground followed by other two were he calculated he'd be right now if he ain't stopped to turn around.

He decide to take the backyard way going into the kitchen, he hopped that once outside his thief skills won't fail him and make him able to jump the fence in one try to get help to rescue Tweek. By all what the men said he was safe for now, for some reason they wanted him totally harmless.

However the plan crashed down along with Craig's hopes once he tried to open the backdoor just to find it locked. Of course! Mrs. Tweak locked every single door in the house! How could he forget it!

-Well, well, well. Seems like the little rat has nowhere to run now.- Said the leader approaching with his two men escorting him and dragging Tweek behind him who was making all kinds of stress noises.

-Gentlemen~ Ready?

-Ehmm… boss?

-Ugh…- he sighed.- What now Dave!?

-Somehow he dodged a bullet impossible to escape, what if it happens again?

-That's why you both will shoot him with one second of difference, you'll go first Dave. I don't know what kind of witchcraft he used to dodge one bullet, but he won't be able to dodge two.

-That's pretty smart boss!

-Yeah, you are brilliant!

-Shut up! Specially you… the other I can't remember his name.

-My name is actual-

-I don't care! You looked at my dick and my ass in the showers! We'll talk about this later I just want that kid dead right now.

-At your order, Captain! .- Both of his subordinates said at unison.

The leader smiled, the blonde cried, the two minions aimed and Craig eyes looked at the blonde, his lips moved quoting a muted "I love you" and his eyes shut closed.

-FIRE!

-CRAAAAAAAAAAAIG!

 _BANG!_

 _BANG!_

Two flashes followed by a loud sound lighted up the dark kitchen of house and the crystal door leading to the Tweak's backyard turned crimson red with a well known fluid splashing all around.


	8. Chapter 8: Watch for the spaz

**Chapter 08: Watch for the spaz.**

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 _Here is another chapter! Thing has been busy so there's a huge chance I won't update in the next week! However I'll try anyways, I want to finish this. I spend too much time thinking on a name for every chapter!_

* * *

Two crimson red flowers formed in the crystal door, the weight of their own made them flow down tracing red lines matching the striped little carpet just right in front the entrance to sweep the dirt off the shoes before enter the house, the striped carper however was losing his pattern as the same red fluid that created the flowers started to dye it red.

The color seemed to expand all around the house, drops on the walls, the tiny kitchen table and Craig's clothing and skin. The red blood shinned oh his white skin splashed all around his face and his hatless head.

The blonde had a terrified expression, some drops of blood also reached his face but there wasn't much on him. His horror turned into confusion once he realized that bloody Craig was staring at the same two corpses he was.

Two of the intruders were laying in the floor, each with a hole in their respective head. Each of them drawing a bloody flower on the crystal door and leaving a splashed Craig in the process.

-WHAT THE-!? The third intruder exclaimed looking at his fallen partners. He quickly turned around. They got warned about this, that was why they wanted to do it as quick as possible…- WHO THE HELL DI-!?

 _BANG!_

A third shot, a third corpse on the floor. The boys were still on shock as they looked at the kitchen's door frame recognizing a very familiar face. Their minds went blank for a while trying to process what just happened.

-OH MY GOD! MOM! YOU KILLED THE HITMEN!.- Tweek finally screamed.

-They're bastards, honey. Don't mind them much.- said Mrs. Tweak in her very usual tone putting her gun down and walking towards them.- Oh! Craig, dear. I'm sorry for your clothes, hun. We can clean you later.

Tweek was panicking while Craig was totally out of words just standing there frozen in time, did… DID TWEEK'S MOM JUST KILLED THREE PERSONS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!?

-Craig, hun. You ok?.- Said the brunette female extending a hand to the raven boy.

-D-Don't touch me! D-DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!

-Oh, Craig. I'm so sorry for this mess, but we need to get out of here or things will get worst.

-W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MOM!? H-HOW COULD THINGS GET NGH!-WORST! YOU JUST KILLED THREE PERSONS! AGH! JESUS CHRIST!.

-Well, they ain't be the only ones behind you, dear.

-W-WHAT!?.- both boys yelled at unison.

-For years many of these persons have been following you around, and just like any other mother I have to protect my baby.

-S-so… all those times I-GAH!-ALL THOSE TIMES I FELT BEING FOLLOWED WERE FOR REAL!?

-Yes, Tweek. People has been always behind you, that's why we've been training you to escape from strangers and not trust anyone.

-WHAT!? B-BUT YOU ALWAYS SAID IT WAS JUST MY IMAGINATION!

-I'd rather have a son who thinks has lost a few screws off his head fearing imaginary things than one who knows is being followed for real and might be taken away anyday at anytime.- She calmly explained.

-So… AM I NOT CRAZY!? IT'S NOT JUST ME SEEING THING!?

-No, sweety. Or…at least not in the whole being followed thing, you talk about too many things.

Tweek and Craig stood there looking at each other for a few seconds, Tweek wasn't crazy. Even if Craig knew this already he always believed the whole "being followed" thing was nothing but paranoia, but it wasn't at all. At all…

Recovering from the shock, Craig dig his right hand on his pocket and reaching a twenty dollars bill he gave it to Tweek. Who took the money but didn't seemed happy at all.

-You know…even when I can say to your face that I was right… s-somehow I FEEL EVEN WORST NOW!

-I know… I feel kinda sick….- Craig said.

-Come on, boys. We need to go right now.- The woman took each of the boys with a hand and lead them to the outside.

-Mom, how d-did you-gah! How did you even know what was happening!?

-I got a little help.

Once at the main door they spotted Kenny standing there doing guard in case someone suspicious walked to the house.

-Kenny! D-Did you told her!?.- Tweek asked.

Kenny then explained them on his muffled voice how after he saw these three strangers and heard their conversation, he decided to call Tweek to warn him (since Craig usually never answers any call from him for being annoying) but since the woman "confiscated" the phone, she ended up answering instead. Even if she wasn't Tweek, he explained to her the hole thing (and somehow she sounded calm) However, Kenny also confessed he had no idea what Tweek's mom would do and was also shocked.

-Dude… you saved our life, sorry for wanting to kick your ass earlier.

-Mmh! Mmh mmh mhh-

-THERE YOU ARE!.- a familiar voice interrupted Kenny.

-Kenny! You are nothing but a GODDAMN TRAITOR! How you dare take a picture to sell to the asian girls and not tell me about it!?

-mh… mmhmm mhhh!

-NO KENNY, GODDAMMIT! I'M THE FUCKING BUSINESS MAN, HERE!.- Cartman cried in indignation.

-So… that explains the whole stalking thing.- the noirette pointed out.- I was going to kick Kenny's ass anyways but if this was Cartman's idea I guess I'll have to change the plans.

-What!? .- the fat kid said.- N-No, no, no! It was Kenny's!.- Kenny called bullshit at this accusation.

-C-CAN WE STOP, PLEASE! WE NEED TO HIDE SOMEWHERE!

-Oh yeah, I was also wondering why it seemed like your house exploited.- Cartman said.

-SOME PEOPLE TRIED TO KIDNAP ME AND KILL CRAIG!

-WHAT!?

-YEAH! THEY'RE AFTER ME, MAN! THEY'VE ALWAYS BE!

-No dude, you are just fucking crazy. Everyone knows you are the crazy guy in town.

-I'M NOT! GAH! I'M NOT CRAZY! AND I DON'T WANT TO BE KIDNAPPED! AND I DON'T-NGH!-WANT THEM TO KILL CRAIG!

-You are right on that you fucking spaz! I can't let them touch any of you two!- The kids and the woman looked at each other, was Cartman actually concerned about them?.- Listen, I can hide you on my house tonight you can use the basement or the attic, both are pretty sweet.

-wow… I-I never thought I'll say this… specially to a fat piece of shit like you, Cartman... but tha-

-But for a price~

-I knew it was too good to be a selfless thing... specially coming from you.- Craig finished his sentence.

-W-What price? W-We don't have any-gah!-money right here!

-It's easy, you guys just need to decide where you want to sleep, we'll set up everything and I want YOU to wear the less clothes you can and kiss… with tongue.

-WHAAAAAAAAAT!?.- the blonde started to shake more while wearing a very red face.

-WHAT THE FUCK, CARTMAN!? Why would we do that!?

-I need a picture, Craig. Kenny Mc-Traitor-Cornick. Sold one picture of you nearly kissing without my authorization and got a lot of money for that shit! So I want a better picture! I picture I can sell for ten million dollars to the asian girls! And I won't let those bastards kill any of you making it impossible to get that picture!

-Come on! The asian girl doesn't even have that much money.

-But they can save it, Craig… They'll do anything to earn money and get the precious picture they've been rotting for…

-Fuck you, fatass!

-Guess we can't do business here, huh? Ok then… I guess, I'll see you guys at school if you survive of course.

Cartman turned around and walked crossing the street, slow… very very slow… he seems to be making time since he literally lived right in front of Tweek's house.

-What now, Mrs. Tweak?.- Craig's nasal voice asked while comforting Tweek.

-I don't know. We can't stay home right now and the coffee shop is not an option either. I'd like to ask you to take Tweek home with you but I don't want to get your family involved at all since they all have been such sweethearts with my baby-boy. I fear… how things are going on right now anyone involved may get killed…

The boys stared at the woman with wide eyes, Tweek was doomed already, Craig got involved but didn't want to involve all his family in this, Kenny… he can't die anyways, can he? Craig didn't give a fuck about Kenny anyways. It was a dangerous game, anyone who dared to help them or hide them could die…

-CARTMAN, WAIT!- Craig raised his voice with… a smile on his face?...

.

.

.

-Ok… let me see if I get it… .- the Jewish kid pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.- You are saying Earth is a living being, all the volcanoes in the surface are tiny assholes and her main asshole i son Yellowstone and it's about to explode because people stopped drawing dicks everywhere?

-Correct!.- The old man added.

-And it doesn't sound retarded at all for any of you?

-Not at all.- Said Randy.

-Dude… why are adults so stupid?

-We'll never know… but that doesn't explain this thing that happened in our way here!

-Guess… it finally activated… after all these years, but I fear it might be too dangerous to use.

-Use what?.- Stan asked.

-You see, kids. We all saw this one coming, or at least the scientists. So we thought on a plan B. We can't stop Earth-chan to shit herself, but we can take her shit somewhere else, we did once with our local volcano. But this time we knew we'll need something else.

-How are we gonna take Earth-chan's shit somewhere else if it's suppose to cover the whole planet?

-That's easy, we'll take it to another dimension, another universe if you prefer to call it.

-That's even MORE retarded! You can't even prove that theory is real at all, and even if it's real how do you expect to open a way through!?

-With a device. A device we've been perfecting through the years.- Mephesto goes to the computer and changes the presentation starting to show picture of hieroglyphics, middle age books and some more modern but still old pictures.- For centuries all cultures along the world has joined the cause, every single town posses a sample or… an "experimental" person. It's usually called "the crazy guy in town". All those poor bastards are just experimental subjects to get the perfect device we are looking for… unfortunately they lose their minds in the process quite often…

-Woah! WOAH! Do you do human experimentation, too!?.- Stan protested.- Animal experimentation is bad enough and you've been doing these for centuries!?

-Well, Earth-chan is a living being. Just another living being can make the job.

-Wow, wait! Wait up! D-Did you just said "every single town" has one of them?...

-Yeah, I did. And considering the incident you just told me about seems like our local crazy guy is giving us quite impressive results. The problem is if the prophecy is real… well, we might be fucked even before Earth-chan shits herself.

-W-What do you mean…? .- Kyle asked.

-Here.

Mephesto showed a picture of an ancient mural, considering the merch from the gift shop the person on the picture was using seemed like the mural was right on Yellowstone. It was painted on rock, and an apocalyptic scenario with rocks falling from the sky, fire everywhere, skulls all around, some cracks letting weird creatures into the scene and right in the middle a kid with a wild hair represented by a sun. And some vandalized dicks around...

-NO WAY!

-IS THAT-?!

-The device is very powerful, if it's not controlled properly may cause the destruction of Earth instead of save it… it's quite ironic, huh?

-DUDE! THAT'S TWEEK!- Stan pointed out.

-WHAT THE HELL!? It can't be! He is just like ten! And why the fuck is wrong with all these dick thing!?

-Oh! That!, well. The wall mural had a part missing or the people got killed before finish… I dunno, but for what we could read, it explained the kid might be gay, so in order to prevent the power to get released we offer as much dicks as possible, we can't cut real ones and offer them as sacrifice, we are not savages! So we believed this would be enough.

-You experiment on people and turn them insane but you are not savages!?- The jew cried in indignation.

-Look Kyle, I know it's hard to understand but hopefully everything will be ok.- Randy explained.

-So, we know is Tweek. What's the plan now?.- the son asked.

-It's obvious.- the mad scientist explained.- We'll take him with us to Yellowstone, use him to transfer Eath-chan's insides to another Earth on another universe and kill him afterwards.

-WHAT!?.- both boys exclaimed.

-Is too dangerous to keep him around, specially after being activated. He may crack our reality and mix it with other universes ending in our own destroyed.

-So… the people who killed all your staff…

-They maybe got the same plan, and you know… they followed the "shot anyone who knows about it" rule. Good thing I got those burritos this morning…

.

.

.

-And you can go fuck yourself Kenny! I don't want you around and be able to get the same picture, so STAY OUT!.- Cartman said shutting the door on Kenny's face and walking to the other boys.- Well, well, well, seems like we are ready for business here, right?.-

-GAH! TOO MUCH PREASSURE!

-Can we get ourselves clean first?

-Great idea, Craig! Let me just get my waterproof case~

-NO! The deal is ONE picture, just ONE. So fuck you.

-Then no cleaning up for any of you!

-GAH! BUT WHAT IF THEIR BLOOD WAS POISONOUS AND IT'S INFECTING CRAIG!? HE-HE NEEDS TO WASH IT OFF, MAN!

-Plus you don't want me to appear all bloody on your precious picture, do you?

-Goddammit… Fine!

-Pupsikins! Your friend is still in the door, seems like he really likes you and wants to play. -Said Liane opening the main door revealing and angry Kenny stepping inside.

-GODDAMMIT, KENNY! I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT!

-MMHH! MMHMHH!

-Maaaaam~ can you kick Kenny out?~

-We have guests, Eric. They had a difficult night so don't be rude on them.

-Goddammit, mom…

Both moms went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Cartman stayed on the living room arguing with Kenny and trying to kick him out while the other two boys went upstairs to the bathroom so Craig could clean himself.

After taking his clothes out, he quickly drop them in the hallway were Tweek was waiting, he took Craig's clothing and delivered to the mothers so they could wash them quickly since Craig had no more clothes to wear for now.

Craig got inside the tube and proceeded to remove the blood from his skin, he was still processing the whole thing, he almost got killed… twice. And ended up being rescued by Kenny and Tweek's mom who killed his attackers right in front of his eyes and now was hiding on Cartman's house.

-You ok, Craig?

-AHH! TWEEK!?.- The raven instinctively covered himself with the curtain.- W-WHEN DID YOU GOT HERE!?

-Oh come on, It's not like you have something to hide from me!

It was true after all, just like that now dead guy they have shared locker rooms and showers even before of the whole yaoi thing. They already knew each other but for some reason it felt embarrassing now.

-T-That doesn't mean you can just spy on me, either!

-Sorry.- The blonde giggled.- I-I can leave if you want me to.

-N-No, it's fine. I want to make sure you are fine. Just don't stare at me the whole time.

-Ok! Promise.- Tweek took the little bench Craig used to go into the tube and sit right by his side..- You think we are safe here?

-I think we are… for now... Cartman is a psycho nobody wants to fuck with, that's why I doubt anyone will look for us here since we hate him and he will never just help us out, and even if they do… Cartman's slutty mom would be a perfect distraction.

-R-Right… and even if they end up being gay like that other dude... there's always my mom…- The blonde said on a sad tone looking down.

-I'm sorry about it, Tweek. But… she did it to protect you. She loves you really much.

-I know but… I just find it funny!.- Some tears started to form at the corners of his green eyes.- My parents always told me to don't trust anyone but them! And to stay away from murderers… but… my mom was one all along and I trusted her… the whole time…

-Tweek… I'm none to judge but, I don't think you should be too harsh on her.

-SHE LIED TO ME, CRAIG! MY OWN MOM!

-Tweek… I always noticed something off on your mom, she freaked me out the whole time, and now I feel like trowing up... but, I believe she most have her reasons. Even when she doesn't show it much, I can tell she really loves you.

-H-HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!? YOU AIN'T LIVE WITH HER!

-Because she sucks at being emotional just like me.- The blonde became quiet.- She wears this blank face too and has her own monotone voice, hers is just more friendly than mine. But we are actually really similar. And even when can't say it loud at all, she does some tiny details to show you how much she loves you.

-She killed people…

-So you wouldn't get killed. I think I'd do the same if I had no choice to protect you.

Tweek stared at Craig, he always had this serious face by default, but there was usually a little smirk on him everytime he joked about something like this, he was serious. He was decided to protect him just like his mother…

-Craig… do you love me?

-W-What? .- The noirette blushed being caught out of guard.

-M-My mom did all this because she loves me, right? You said you'd do the same for me. And we already kissed… so you should know it now… do you love me, Craig?

-Goddammit…- Craig hide his red face with his hands, in all the possible scenarios it had to be while being chased on a life and death game while being naked on a tube. This was totally not the cliché situation he was expecting to wait for and say it loud.

-I-I get it… you are bad at being emoti-

-I love you, Tweek. I'm so fucking in love with you I freak myself out….

-C-Craig!.- the blonde responded partially covering his mouth with a hand while a bright blush dye his cheeks. It was the first time he heard those words coming from Craig and heck it felt good!

-Babe, you ok? You've been shaking a lot. I mean… more than usual?

-Oh… I dunno why…- the twitchy kid answered.- I've been feeling… weird…

-Do you feel weird right now?

-Kinda… Guess I'm just nervous?

-Is it because of the picture Cartman wants to take?

-OH JESUS! DON'T-GAH!-DON'T REMIND ME THAT! HO-HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT!?.- The shake intensified.- WHY DID YOU AGREE!?

-I don't know…. We needed a place… and I'd actually love to get rid of Cartman somehow.

-Oh God… Oh! Yeah I got you this!.- said Tweek while showing up the signature chulo hat that usually rests on Craig's head.

-Hey! You saved my hat! Thanks!

-Your hair is too wet to wear it now, Oh! Also, your clothes must be ready on a few minutes. We can use that time to think on a plan to escape the whole picture situation!

-That lard bastard... It's not like I'm an expert or something...

-W-WAIT!? THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO!? BECAUSE YOU WON'T LOOK PROFESSIONAL TO HIM!?

-I didn't mean that!

-C-Craig... have y-YOU EVER CONSIDERATE IT? E-Even before C-Ngh!Cartman suggested it!?

-Ehm... Kinda...?- The raven boy tried to hide his guilty red face from Tweek's shocked expression.- I've been rotting to be closer to you, It's all those damn movies fault! Why can't they just do a simple kiss instead of trying to eat each other's face!?

-OH MY GOD!.- The blonde yelp in embarrassment trembling violently and pulling his hair, an action Craig hated and always complained about but he had no time to do so since Tweek ended up falling to the ground.

-GAH! WHAT THE HECK, MAN!?

Both stared at the same thing, the tiny bench Tweek sat on, just like the bullet that almost ended Craig's life was glitching in front of them, at being an static object it was easier to appreciate. The object teared apart itself and then returned to normal like it had a spasm for a few seconds, and just for a tiny moment, it seemed different, like a bench from another world, with different lines and even a darker color. The bench stopped.

-D-DID YOU SEE THAT!?

-That's not good...- Craig stated while some feminine cries could be heard downstairs. Something about dinner falling to the floor followed by two overdramatic cries of pain on the lost food, one was for sure for being private of more lard to fill his ass and the other one might be for his lost chance to eat something else than pop-tarts for dinner.- I have a bad feeling about this...


	9. Chapter 9: You are my son

**CHAPTER 09: "You are my son."**

* * *

 _Sorry I ain't update. I forgot a very important dead line and my internet service got suspended by overpayment... It's so embarrassing... Anyways, here it is._

* * *

Ugly sobbing echoed in the Cartman's residence while two boys laid in the floor cursing the heavens and offering their tears to the just cooked food now fallen goodness. One cried for maybe his most decent meal in weeks lost, while the fat one cried like he just lost a really loved one.

-Oh Poopsikins, I'm really sorry. The plate just slipped off mommy's hands.

-FUCK YOU MOM!

-Oh my. I'm so sorry. I guess we'll just order some food instead. It's a shame since you helped me cooking and all.

-Oh Liane, It's fine, don't worry about it. I'll just go get the boys and we can order something.- Said Tweek's mom.

-But I still don't know what just happened.- Mrs. Cartman showed her concern about the rare event.- it's like the plate just went through my hands right to the floor.

-Don't worry about it. Maybe you are just tired. I'd be too if I had to tolerate a son like yours everyday.

-Oh, Eric is not that bad!.- Liane paused looking at her fat boy with a smile on her face.- Maybe you are right…

-I'll go get the boys.

Mrs. Tweak leaved the kitchen and walked upstairs right to the bathroom. She stood right next to the door and listened carefully, she could hear both of the boys inside. The woman took a deep breath and knocked at the door.

-GAH! W-WHO IS THERE!?

-Tweek, sweety. It's mommy, open up!.- she said on a sweet tone.

-AH! H-HOW CAN WE KNOW YOU ARE NOT A FAKE!?

-Well I bet nobody else knows about this precious little birthmark you have right up you-

-MOM! STOP! I-I BELIEVE YOU! JUST STOP! AH!.- The blonde opened the door with a noticeable blush on his face. -D-Don't say those kinds of things… specially if Craig is present!.- the kid whispered-yell.

-Oh sweetheart, relax. I'm pretty sure Craig knows about it too!

-GAH! MOM! HE DOESN'T!

-I actually do. We share showers at gym. Remember?.- Craig shouted from the tube.

-OH GOD! WHAT THE FUCK, CRAIG!? HAVE YOU BEEN CHECKING ME OUT!?

-Look doesn't hurt anyone.- the raven said on his famous monotone voice.

-OH JESUS!

The blonde blushed turning the tips of his ears red, his trembling intensified once more and his mother just stared down at him examining every twitch of his tiny body not trying to help at all, just watching every single detail of his reaction.

-Tweek! Calm down! I was kidding!.- Craig lied.- Relax, baby. By now I'm fearing you get a heart attack…

-Oh God…

Tweek breath deep and slow trying to calm himself down. His mother just stared at him and then switch to Craig, who was still on the tube talking on a rare soft tone to the blonde trying to help him out his anxiety. She stared back at her son once more, who was still twitching but visible way calmer.

-Tweek, honey. Would you like to come help mommy get Craig's clothes? They're must be ready by now.

-Ehmm.. I-I… ngh-ok!

They went to the basement also laundry room. Still some soft cries an sobbing could be hear at the distance while closing the door behind.

-So, Tweek. How are things going between you and Craig?

-Huh? W-What do you mean?

-Well… you are always so calm around him, yet… you've been jumpy much?

-I-GAH! I DUNNO! I feel weird!

-Weird? Weird, how?

-I just… AH! I DUNNO! IS LIKE ANXIETY BUT WEIRD!

-Oh! I see.- the woman smiled.- Tweek, can you tell what you usually do with Craig when you two are alone?

-Alone? W-Well… we just watch TV, or play video games! S-Sometimes he tells me stories about the stars! Or he just stay there listening to me when I have a problem…

-Mhm… is there something else?

-Something else? L-Like what?

-You know, any kind of contact?

-C-Contact?.- The blonde tilted his head trying to process the question. Realization hit him. Not his mother too.- GAH! N-NO! NOTHING LIKE THAT!

-Are you sure? .- The mother giggle while taking the clothes from the dryer.- You can always tell your mom.

-YOU FUCKING KILLED THREE PERSONS! HOW CAN I TRUST YOU!?

-OH sweetheart, listen. I'm sorry but I had no choice. It was them or Craig and you.

-THEY WERE NOT TRYING TO KILL ME!

-But they wanted to take you away… and that's the reason why I've been doing this for years. To prevent them from take you away from me. I want to see my baby grow up!

The woman gave her son a warm smile, just as rare as Craig's. Even if she was always smiling there was something different, her regular smile seemed fake and felt empty, but this one was real, a soft and comforting smile just a mother could give.

-B-But if you want to… why don't you spend more time with me?.- The blonde asked trembling. He already knew but he wanted to hear it at least coming from his mother's lips.

-Well, you know the coffee shop takes a lot of our time and energy. That's why I want you there, so I can see you more and know you are doing something instead of freak out home alone.

-Good point…

-I'm a busy mom, sweety. But I still care a lot about you. And about your happiness.- Mrs. Tweak laid the blue clothes to his son. They were still warm.- So~ isn't there anything you wanna tell mommy? I won't tell anyone.- she added playful.

Tweek blushed hard while trembling, talk with his mom like this was extremely unusual, he could swear she and his father just wanted to exploit him forcing him to work, child labor was against the laws, but know his mother actually was worried about just leaving him alone educating himself and doing just God knows what totally alone at home with his paranoia chasing him was something nice. She was looking for him on a subtle way. Just like Craig. That bastard always has to be right!

-T-This is gay, mom…!

-Just like you, dear.

-I… w-well we-w-GAH! CRAIG AND I-NGH!... **CRAIGANDIFINALLYKISSED!**

-Oh God! My baby boy finally took the next step!

-M-MOM! STOP IT! I-IT's embarrasing!.

-Oh dear! Now I get Craig's enthusiasm about the deal with Eric.- she laughed- So you were for real.

-MOM! IT WAS JUST SIMPLE! JUST A FEW PECKS! GAH! I SWEAR!

The woman kept laughing from joy, such energy somehow made her feel younger and remember her own times times when she first met Tweek's dad.

Tweek on the other side was trying to bury himself on Craig's cozy clothes, he knew it was a bad idea to tell his mom. Yet he was relieved in some way, not that it was a secret killing him, but sharing little secrets with his mom was gay but fun. She was trustworthy again.

-D-Don't tell anyone!.- The blonde warned.

-Can I tell Laura?

-N-NO! Mrs. Tucker is a little clingy with me! Y-GAH! YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WOULD IT BE IF SHE KNOWS!? OR EVEN WORST! TRICIA! OH GOD! DON'T EVER TELL TRICIA ABOUT THIS!

-But we are like family now since you and Craig are dating, sweety.

-YOU PROMISED! I-I trusted you…

The woman sighed still with a smile on her face, she approached the boy and placed a kiss on his forehead. Today was a weird day, Tweek almost got kidnapped, his boyfriend almost die, he was trapped on a deal he didn't want to and he was getting all this rare love from his mother he felt really distant with… except for the whole dying stuff, he wished all days could be like this.

-I won't say a word then. But I expect more little secrets from you~ I love you, dear. You are my son.

-L-Love you too, mom! And thanks! I promise I'll tell you everything from now on!

-We have a deal. Now go get Craig his clothes. You don't want your man's ass to freeze, right?

-Mom! Stop it!.- The blonde complained playfully.

Tweek went upstairs to the bathroom and gave Craig his clothes back. They weren't as soft as they usually are, Craig had some weird fascination with laundry and every time he was in charge of it everything was fluffy and smelling really good and clean, even fresher than new. But for tonight they had to be enough just clean.

The home made dinner changed to pizza delivery, nobody complained about the food, the only complain was from Tweek who panicked about the whole thing, freaking out about the pizza guy to be another murderer or a spy to give information about their location, even about the pizza being poisoned but nothing was out of place.

Mrs. Tweak agreed to sleep in the living room while the boys decided to take the basement, it was better than the attic and they were already familiarized with it so it didn't feel like a strange place at all. The lack of PJ's didn't bother them at all, just taking their shoes off was enough for tonight.

-Craig, what are you doing?.- the boy asked staring at the phone screen with his jewellery green eyes.

-I'm just texting Token and Clyde to tell them you are with me and we are ok.

-GAH! D-DON'T DO THAT, MAN! WHAT IF SOMEBODY HACKS YOUR MESSAGES!?

-It's fine, I didn't tell them we are at Cartman's. I just want them to know we are fine and you are not lost anymore so they won't worry.

-Craig…

-hmh?

-What's gonna happen tomorrow?

-I dunno. Seems like your mom has been dealing with this stuff for a while. Maybe everything will just go back to normal.

-I'd like that! B-But I don't think so…

-Don't worry, babe.- Said the raven giving a warm smile. It was the second time the blonde saw such rare smile on somebody he loved.- Everything would be fine. I'll always be at your side.

-Craig…

-Oh! That's so sweet, you guys! Now, can you get a little closer and try to eat each other's face?

-GAH!

-Goddammit, Cartman…

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.

A familiar truck dashed through the forest leading to the town, with some bumps damaging the wheels and tiny animals spread across the glass a yellow school could be spotted.

-Dude, I still can't believe we are gonna kidnap Tweek… - The jew confessed.

-Yeah, it's kinda ironic since that's like his worst fear ever and we are suppose to be his friends.

-That sucks….

-Yeah, yeah! Remember we do this to save the whole world, so it's a noble cause.- Said Randy.- Also take it as an act of kindness. Have you seen that kid? Is pretty fucked up!

-Dad, but I thought you liked him for the whole yaoi thing. You know… everyone being so proud for the first two gay kids?

-Oh that, you know it's kinda toxic now I think about it since we could gave a negative image of gay people saying gays are mentally ill like him, on the other hand if he dies for the humanity gay people gets elevated.- Randy explained while driving across the famous bus stop.

-Any idiot can die being a hero and some people notices while other don't give a single shit.- Mephesto added.- But say a gay person die saving others and you'll have everyone building an altar. It's gonna be better for him than just pass out as a spaz on a dark corner being just known as the gay crazy guy on South Park.

-But you made him that way! It's your fault!- Kyle accused with the whole presentation still fresh on his mind. Tweek just got unlucky and ended up being an experiment somehow. He wondered how things would be if Tweek would actually be a normal kid.

-Excuse me but we didn't choose him at all. Actually hi-

-DAD! LOOK!.- Stan pointed out at the Tweak's residence.

-Oh my Gosh…

The adult stopped the truck and ran to the scene. The door was destroyed and there were many bullet impacts in the floor and the walls and as final touch a red pool decorating the kitchen floor and the backdoor. Yet not a sign of any corpse around.

-WHAT HAPPENED!?- Stan asked.

-Are we too late!?.- Randy exclaimed.

-No, not yet.- The mad scientist examined the scene carefully for a moment. -There were reports about someone on the backstage protecting Tweek. A guardian. My guess is the guardian did it... I mean look at that shit, they're not trying to kill the kid and even if they did this is no Mortal Combat, no child have that much blood inside. We need to look around.

.

.

.

-Craig! You fucking asshole! We made a deal!.

-Fuck you, lardass! Can't you see it's not the right moment now!?

-The fuck you mean!? It's the perfect moment!- The obese kid complained phone in hand. The young couple was being difficult refusing to do what they agreed. –I dunno how many movies you've seen, asshole. But every time things get this difficult and a couple is involved they fuck BECAUSE it might be the last time they do. Now stop being a dick and do your part.- He said innocently.

-AGH! JESUS!

-Mhhm mhmmmk?

-Shut up Kenny! We ain't do anything like that yet. And I won't do in front of a camera!

-Craig. You agreed, my house for a picture. You are safe in my house, I want my picture, Craig… I want it. You know… I don't have any problem going back to Tweek's house and leave a note saying what happened and where you guys are sleeping tonight.

-You wouldn't…

-mhm.

-Yeah, he would…- Tweek agreed.

-Goddammnit… Just a kiss, right?

-As long as it has all my conditions last mentioned, yes.- Cartman clarified. This was the picture he has been dreaming with. Not gay.

-Ugh… fine.

-GAH! I-I'M NOT READY!

-Mhhmmhhm~

-Nobody asked you McCormick! Fuck off!

-GAH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

-PSST! Tweek! Tweek, over here!

A sudden call got the kid's attention. On the tiny window in the basement a man could be seen. Long noise and curly Brown hair with some familiar facial shape.

-D-DAD! W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?

-There's no time, son! Come here! I need to take you away from here. You are not safe.

-I'M NOT!? OH GOD!

-Mr. Tweek, what's going on!?

-No time to explain, Craig. I need to get Tweek away from here. Help him out through the window!

-HEY! What about my picture!?.- the morbid obese kid protested.

-Fuck it, Cartman! Don't you see the situation!? What's wrong with you!?

-I just want you to do your part of our deal!

The doorbell ringed and everyone freeze, the adult seemed the most worried of them all. He quickly opened the window, being too big to fit he just slipped his arm inside offering his hand.

-They're here! Quick son, let's get you out!

-B-But!... W-WE SHOULD TELL MOM!

-There's no time! Hurry!

-W-WHAT ABOUT CRAIG!? GAH! THEY'RE AFTER HIM TOO!

-He'll be fine as long as he doesn't get in the way. Now come here, quick!

-THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

The young couple used a few boxes to make some stairs yet it wasn't enough, the blonde still had a gap between his hand and his father's. The noirette lifted the trembling frame on his arms as much as he could finally making his boyfriend reach his goal.

Richard lifted the boy with ease and helped him leave the basement through the window. Once outside the boy approached the hole again to tell a few words to his young lover before leave.

-C-Craig, please! T-ta-

-Take care you too.- the raven finished and both shared a smile.- I'll be fine, you just have to worry about yours-

-CRAIG, NO!

A high pinched cry boomed in the closed area. Craig jumped right after hearing his name being shouted and faced a brunette with bright lip stick on her lips, she looked terrified while spotting his son outside holding his father's hand. Her voice also surprised everyone. She used to be calm even on hard situations just like Craig yet see her being hysterical was something beyond weird, more like disturbing…

-GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!.- She yelled accusing with her finger to the man outside.

-D-dad! W-what's going on!?

-No time!

-GAH! DAD! W-WAIT UP! MY ARM!

The blonde protested being dragged by his father. The woman ran upstairs and the kids instinctively followed her being Craig the one just behind her. They ran outside ignoring the man and the kid right next the main door talking to Cartman's mom. But they didn't ignore the hysterical female with three kids following her close.

-That's Craig!.- Stan pointed out.

-Come on!.- Randy said leading his son's way following the woman.

Outside was waiting the Tweak's family car right in front of the green house. Mephesto and Kyle were waiting looking for the owner to ask where his son was so they could kindly take him away. Yet they had no time for questioning when the two persons they were looking for just pushed them away.

Richard tried his best to do things smooth and quick, but nothing was smooth when Tweek was involved. The twitchy kid was terrified, he didn't know why his mother was scared of his dad. He didn't wanted to know where his now suspicious father was trying to take him. He didn't want to go anywhere.

-TWEEK! GET INSIDE!

-NO! WH-WHY DO I HAVE TO!?

-GET INSIDE, GODDAMMIT!

-GAH! MOM! CRAIG!

The blonde fought at the door but ended up being pushed violently inside. His father learned to be patient with him, but seemed like he was at his limit this time. He jumped along and turned the key to bring the car back to life.

Tweek's tiny body hurt, his father used to be a little harsh on him on his panic attacks but he was never this violent with him, at least not physical. His heart ached with the idea of his own family betraying him a second time, even when he already make it up with his mom and the future was looking bright again, now was his father. Another person he blindly learned to trust.

The blonde's thoughts were suddenly banished away when a heavy object hit the car's crystal.

-GIVE ME BACK MY BABY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

-OH GOD!.- Both males inside exclaimed at unison when the family's female appeared on their faces.

Richard turned the steering wheel on an unsuccessful attempt to take the mother down. He didn't want to hurt his wife but he needed her out of the way. However this moves just seemed to feed the tiny woman's fierce and hold even tighter covering the whole window.

-I CAN'T SEE! HONEY PLEASE! GET OUT OF THE WAY! .- Mr. Tweak cried.

-GET DOWN OF THE CAR, RICHARD!

The vehicle finally crashed against the town sign at not much speed forcing the woman out of the car and the two passengers in shock.

-OH GOD! MOM!

-S-Shit! Dear, are you ok!?.

The man leaved the car with the boy inside, he was dead worry about his wife condition after the crash. However he found her at her feet with her gun pointing out at him. She could stand, yet she was injured, some traces of blood blending with her red lipstick and her free hand holding her side.

-You are not doing this, Richard…- Her stoic face returned this time her eyebrows furrowed being the only evidence of her not so happy mood.

-We made a deal, Darling… I have no choice!

-NO! YOU made a deal! You never asked me!

-It's not like you could talk anyways.

The rest finally arrived after the car incident, everyone keep his distance from the armed woman and the man with his arms claiming surrender. Everyone except Craig, who just passed in front of them all and dashed to the car to assist Tweek.

-Babe! You ok?

-C-CRAIG! W-WHAT'S GOING ON!?

-I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA, DUDE!

-Craig… -A feminine voice pronounced the raven's name getting the two boys attention.

-Mrs. Tweak, what's going on!? THIS IS INSANE!

-Craig, remember what you promised me about looking after Tweek?

-Y-Yeah.. I do.

-Please, protect him..- the woman said with salty water drops on the corners of her eyes.

-Ho-Honey, please you knew this day would come…- Richard said while slowly approaching the woman.- We agreed not to bond much with him for that reason. We still have the coffee shop at least! It's a shame, I tried too but we can't help it. It's time to do our part.

-That's easy for you, Richard! Since you didn't spend over twenty nine hours squishing him through your vagina!

-Dear, please. There was no other choice. We agreed on this.

-YOU agreed! YOU sold our son even before being born!

-AND WHY!? BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO LOST YOU!

-SO YOU SOLD OUR ONLY CHILD AS A LAB RAT!? I CAN'T HAVE ANYMORE KIDS, RICHARD! YOU KNOW IT!

-Honey, please…

-Craig. Take Tweek with you. Take care of him since we can not longer hide him.

-But I'm just ten! I can't run away like that!

-C-CRAIG! W-what do we do!?.- The blonde asked taking his hand, he was shaking bad. Anxiety taking possession of his whole tiny body.

-Over here, boys!.- A rusty voice and a klaxon called their attention. Dr. Mephesto opened Randy truck's door for them. The whole vehicle was packed with the four boys in the back and the adults in the front.

-You know Craig…- Richards voice suddenly said.- I actually felt happy about you too, I felt like an actual father for a while but the irony maybe was the best part.

-Irony? What irony?

-Tweek's situation and you loving those "things". It was adorable how much you love Guinea Pigs even when they look human. It's kinda funny if your think about it.

-W-What?...

-Don't listen, Craig.- the woman said.- Just go and help Tweek…

Craig was still processing Richard's words when he felt a tight grab on his hand. He was being dragged right to the truck by the blonde. He seemed confused but followed his mother's wish. Somehow it felt right, he still had a lots of questions, but for now the best was getting out of there.

Being that quick to act on a smart way wasn't Tweek at all, he was mostly the one who froze and freaked out waiting for being hit by the bull, Craig wasn't the only one changing. He was changing too, being more determinated and able to think a little more by himself, he was surprised, everything thanks to Craig. The boy on blue who was looking at him with watery eyes reflecting a painful mix of fear and pity...


End file.
